Full of laughter, full of pain
Can't help remembering things
Things that are part of the terrain
Today I (had to) cleaned out my hard drives. There are too many TBs of memories out there. I came across old blog posts, unfinished poems, early pictures of bhanju wanju, and most importantly, the previous me.
If I compare myself in 2009 to the one in 2014 - I see a HUGE difference. Like, enormous. My entire brain was re-wired in these five years. My world-view changed completely.
But in that change, I think I lost quite a few things as well. I lost the easy laughter, the easy carefree-ness. Not only that, I lost quite a bit of self-esteem.
If there is one lesson I really really learned in these 5 years .. "Nothing much is going to be according to how you wish it to be".
This place has made me humble :).. that's for sure. I no longer think I'm a "good student" - I no longer even think I'm a "good Muslim".
I think this humility is a great thing so maybe I should be happy about it.
So long folks.