Sunday, August 5, 2012

It's strange in here...

There's noise, there's music all around. The atmosphere is all but Ramadan-ish. I miss home.

People walk by, they stare so hard at the hijaab. I have yet to see an eye not flicking back to check me out again.

Life seems crazy sometimes, and sometimes it's so lonely one can't stand the silence.

One will have a group of people - of the same nationality - sitting in a room, talking and laughing. And one can - in this gathering - feel utterly alone.

I miss my Quran class friends, I miss the Quran classes. The fact hit me really hard today because the email I had avoided for so many hours, had to be answered. And it was answered quite tearfully. *rueful smile*

Laughter and jokes are a common emotion on Skype. That's the only way to hide the pain from the family. But Skype is a blessing, yeah. Alhamdulillah for that :) - even though it's really hard to hide it when Bhanju wanju jumps at the laptop screen and says, "Aala pass jaa raha huun" (I'm going where Aala is).

Times such as now are completely silent, and the future seems so bleak. I have yet to get excited about the graduate orientation coming up in a few days. I haven't seen many Muslim (girls) on campus. As I said, it's lonely in here.

The masjid offers a ray of hope, though. It's a superb gathering of people and today (probably because it's the weekend), I saw many people from the sub-continent. One of them was really nice and she I got talking. I learned that her Mum has been volunteering at the masjid for a loooong time and she has basically grown up in America. The Islam-awareness in her left me inspired Masha Allah :). May Allah Give Muslims taufeeq to raise their kids in such a manner in places where Islam is a stranger, Ameen.

Now, when Urdu is spoken by anybody, my ears prick up. Instantly. I miss home.


Noor said...

Uni baji!! please stay put. A time will come when you will have greatest of the consolations. Inshallah Inshallah. bus a wait for a little while.

lots of prayers on your way!!

Uni said...

That's so very kind of you, Jazakillah :)

Anonymous said...

if you don't mind can i ask you (if its not too personal) if you are in america to be with your husband or are you in america for your studies? (its ok if you don't want to answer if its too personal)