The "state" of affairs is such that if I think too much, I can actually start trembling. This is the night before the big V interview. Visa interview I mean. I shouldn't be this scared, I know. I should realize that whatever happens tomorrow is pre-destined. I know. I should focus on being confident, more than anything else. I know. That is my weakest point, by the way. I also know that.
My brain refuses to stop conjuring up images of scary and intimidating visa officers, asking me a load of difficult questions and getting me all confused or babbling incoherently. **scared stiff even now**.
I do wonder what there is to be scared about anyway. Scribbling on this post is a reminder for me not to be scared of situations where I have absolutely no control. I mean, yes I have control over my tongue, but then again, how do I control what goes on in the VO's mind?
The scariest bit is getting a rejection of course. All the hard work, the effort, the expectations, will amount to nothing but a huge heart-ache. I guess I can re-apply, but that will take too much time and I think that will make me miss the semester.
The hopeful bit is that it's for a PhD so maybe it'll be better than if it were for a Master's. I so so hope so. Insha Allah. Lol, take a look at this:
Whoever reads this before 7.15 am tomorrow morning, please say Ameen to:
O Allah, please let Uni get the visa approved tomorrow, and let her not suffer any heart-ache. Ameeeeeeen.
Jazakallah Khairan folks! :)