And we can't be happier about it :)
This happiness stems from a general relief that everything is a-okay and a profound gratefulness to the Creator and Sustainer, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala... for so many things, but particularly:
1. The surgery went well
2. There were no anaesthesia complications
3. The patient woke up and still saw herself on the planet, when she opened her eyes [:D]..
4. The attendant was lousy, but still managed to make the patient satisfied (almost)
5. The doctors pronounced the post-op situation to be a-okay and will get the patient dc [discharged] from hospital tomorrow.
6. That the patient is now getting up, walking about, on her own :)
And so many other things, Alhamdulillah.
With the relief, comes a heavy burden though... a burden whose roots lies in the shortcomings in a human, that emerge during the toughest times. Shortcomings like shortness of temper, lousy mood, crankiness, emotional upheavals, tears and tantrums, fuzool kee arguments and what not. Today me and the patient were literally yowling at each other. May Allah Forgive me :(:(
The whole point is, that the guilt weighs heavy on the heart, but there is no end to the extent of kindness and patience shown by people (especially family and close friends) to the attendant especially. There has been abundant idiocies during this week, quite a few arguments, and not to mention a lot of panic attacks on my part :(.. Why, you may ask?
1. Thesis submission deadline is in a month or so IA - have partially written the first chapter
2. One module (whole and the most tough) hasn't been implemented yet, not much reading done either about it... no idea what's going to happen.
3. One previous module which was working, suddenly has stopped working and I still haven't figured out why and how!
4. The whole past week was spent doing nothing, but sitting around, worrying, and having negative thoughts. Whenever I sat to work, nothing much happened.
Problem: My heart isn't in my work - and my brain keeps screaming at it to shut it and just WORK...
Wish it were this easy.
The negative spiral I found myself in the past few days, just blew out of control, despite my fierce attempts to contain it - sanity vs urge to burst out ... the problem with bursting out is that you announce to the world that you're stupid (pehlay, only you know it), and secondly - you hurt people, something you never intended to do.
So long folks.