Warning: Insensibility Alert. Ramble Alert.
The day dawned cloudy. Clouds generally rock. Today, they were just depressing. Yesterday and today morning were dedicated to chotu. Since he has now taken to just hitting anything within sight, my mood wasn't better by today morning. In fact, I had been so sick of all the punching, kicking, pinching, knee-first-jump-on-tummy... that it was a lot difficult to control my temper. Er, I know you can't blame the kid.. but at least you can get angry and feel miserable.
That's what I did.
The morning started at 8.15. Hoping against hope that Bhanju wouldn't wake up, I crept to the laptop. This 8-10am time slot is one which I look forward to - the entire day. Who wants to miss such a great time? Five minutes after I sat down, the kid woke up... and I heard, 'aalaaa?' ... Oh man, oh man. I looked around in despair and there he was, in his T-shirt and diapers.. [what a night suit :P] and he jumped down fast from the bed.. hurried towards me, held out his arms and said 'po-po? booo' .. [chotpo plays with him with balloons actually]...
Sighing audibly, I picked him up and resumed my work.. Hardly a second later, I had let out a cry of surprise. The whole backside of the shirt was WET!! Yuckieeeee.. :P
Got up .. glared at the blissfully asleep Mommy, and tried to wake her up. She informed me that I can easily change a diaper, gave me instructions to take out some clothes and change the amused toddler. Sighing again, i set to work. After that, sat down in front of the laptop again. Hardly a few minutes later, the kid was running around, creating a general mayhem, and then opened the door (yeah he can manage that..:(..), and calmly ran out.
Got up AGAIN, and ran after him. Looked hopefully at his nani, whether she would see to him, glared at the sleeping mommy again and found out that the nani was nearly dozing off! :(:(.. So there was no hope. Only too soon, Dad woke up and asked for breakfast.. and took the kid for a while. But I had gotten up to make breakfast. Chotu had set up a chant of 'andaa' .. 'andaaa'... so I made 'andaaa' (egg)..
And he never ate it!! :@
**my typing is a lil more desperate right now**
Cursing everything under the sun, I sat back down .. and tried to continue working. Ha!! Dad was so overwhelmed after trying to feed the kiddo, that he called me to take him, while he eats. Sighing again, I took him and tried to amuse him. Then, a lil while later, Dad finished breakfast and sis the priss finally woke up.. Took him for breakfast. It turned out that he didn't eat the 'andaa' cuz the 'andaa' had been fried wrong.. :(. He eats half-fry, the lil nawaab.
Then asked sis the priss for a favor, which wasn't granted. Fuming, I went back to the laptop and tried to calm myself down. Failed.
Later, I just got up and stormed off. No use trying to please everybody. It doesn't work.
We had a cool breakfast of halwa puuri (sis the priss made halwa and I made puris), and then we sat down, and tried to calm ourselves down, but it was hard. Cuz chotu potu was in the high chair .. uff.. making a MESS out of the puuris or bread which was given to him. I don't know, are all kids like this? Sis the priss says all toddler boys are like that.
*wearily*. It was a hard hard morning.
Then, had to cook in a huge hurry, since one of my friends (who lives in the UK), leaves tomorrow morning .. and we had planned a get together, so it had to be done in a hurry today only....so scowling throughout the cooking session, I was feeling like ditching the get together ! :@ [who wants to be social when one feels like a moronic turnip] ..but then realized that F leaves tomm.. so I wont be seeing her for a long time!
We went to a mall and had all five of us had a wonderful time. Ate chinese.. and had juices.. :) and then went into the gaming section. Had a superb time there. Forgot completely about my lousy morning and mood... I can shoot pretty okay, you know! SA was awesome in shooting :D. MA.
Then went on to air hockey (? is that the name of that game?).. I was playing it for the first time, and man, did we have fun or WHAT .. :D. My team won by a larrgee margin the first time .. [:P to SA].. and then, er, second time, I was moronic.. ;). Lost by a small margin.. [another :P to SA]..
Sigh. It was a great amazing evening.
Came back.. fell asleep :(. Woke up. Have a nasty headache right now... And i know sleep wouldn't come easy. Problems in the brain have the tendency to land you into the fuzoolest of spirals, and once you get into the spiral, the only way forward is DOWN. I myself am in a spiral - wondering when will I hit rock bottom, and then probably, the way forward will become UP.
Or most hopefully: OUT and back to normality. If I even remember what normality is.. :S... [Was it a Gaussian thingie? .. *surely crazy right now*]
Burdened hearts aren't easy to deal with. You can pray and hope things become better, but problems in the brain prevent solutions to be implemented to heal the burdened heart.. and matters usually become worse.
May Allah Help us all. Ameen.