There was a big lesson I learned when I had the following conversation with my veryyy close friend and relative (who just got nikah-o-fied on Sunday). This was the first real opportunity for me to have a serious, candid chat with her, and yeah, I could learn lots from her perspective and experiences. The good bit is that we are a LOT alike in our thinking and mindset, not to mention our values and ideals. Hence, her nikah was an inspiration for me (since it had been arranged in such a simple manner - and in daylight!).
Khair. The conversation went like this. I went to her place to check on how she was doing!
Me: 'Ow you doin' !!
She: *grinning*. I am doing well, Alhamdulillah.
Me: My, don't you look like you could use some sleep? *wink*
She: Meano! Well, okay. I have been sleeping just for 2-3 hours for the past three nights.
Me: Haaa Haaa Haaaaa
She: Hey, don't be mean okay.
Me: Sooooooo. How's married life treating you?
She: Quite well, thank you. [how formal]
Me: *rolls her eyes*.. so you guys talk and all now, no?
[they had never been talking before nikah. It was quite surprising to know that!]
She: Er, we have been chatting yes.
Me: *ears pricking up*.. Chatting? What about ..'talking' ?
She: Er, I, er, haven't gotten the courage yet.
Me: *sputters*.. Whhaaaat? Haven't got the cour...excuse me? Isn't he your husband?
She: Er, yes. Surely enough. But errr...
Me: Err .. what, exactly? I have never in my life heard of such a thing!
She: Umm, it's really new for me. I want to take it slowly to the next level.
Me: Lol. Well, it makes sense I guess. But you do realize that people today talk and all very freely and then they get engaged, and then married :P.
She: *laughing*. Yeah I realize that, and am glad nothing like this happened in my case.
If new-ness in communication is to be preserved in marriage (albeit for a few days), then the best way to do so is follow the commands of Allah SWT and not communicate with any na-mahram before nikah - even if he is your fiance.
That's what I learned from my friend today. I couldn't really believe that she feels it's such a strange thing to be talking on phone. But it's true. And that has only happened because she hasn't talked to him on phone (or anybody else for that matter) - tafreehan. Ever.
I just hope and pray that may Allah Protect us from un-allowed communication and unwanted results, and may He Grant us the insight to er, realize that mangoes out of season never taste as amazing as the ones eaten at the right time.