Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt


With that dramatic title, this post promises to be a er, girly wurly one. So anybody who is not a female, or is a tomboy-ish female is highly cautioned right now only. This post would have been  password protected, if Blogger had this feature :P. But it doesn't. So anyway, read at your own risk!

So today was a nice ghanchakkar (medley) of various things. Today's schedule had been mapped out so painstakingly by me last night.

1. I was supposed to sleep after Fajr and wake up at 8.30.
2. Then cook
3. Then give Dad breakfast
4. Then rush upstairs because I had promised the lady that I'll help out with the 'science projects' that are one of the modules of the Montessori Certification Course she is taking.
5. Then I was supposed to hurriedly iron clothes and get ready.
6. After this I was supposed to leave at 12.30 to pick up friend 2 to reach Friend 1's home - where we were supposed to have lunch and fun!

Sigh. Things didn't quite well go according to the plan.

The alarm didn't wake me up. Mum's calls didn't wake me up. The tube light glaring above my head didn't wake me up. My DAD woke me up when he called out to me for his breakfast! It was already 9.30am!!

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

*panic time*

I leapt from the bed, ran to the kitchen, hurriedly made the breakfast... then looked at the clock despairingly wondering whether everything is going to work out or not. Then set to work cooking food and all. Finally, got farigh around 10.15 and somehow, reached upstairs by 10.20am. Tried to hurriedly sort out the science projects.. :(. The entire work was done by me (and there was no other way!). This is the saddest thing alive, but there ARE some people who simply cannot follow simple 1,2,3 step-wise instructions written clearly in a booklet, and unable to do even basic things...! We should be sooooooooooo grateful to Allah SWT for the Blessing we have of 'deciphering' etc.

One not so great conversation went like this:
(UWA = Upar-wali-Aunty, UWL = Upar wali lady {aunty's daughter :D})

UWA: Soo, we heard about the upcoming wedding in your close family. What are you wearing?
Me: Oh, I’m wearing a frock-style dress with er, choori daar I guess

UWL: Ooh, which color which color?
Me: *tells them the color*
UWL: *silent*, UWA: *silent*

*a few seconds pause*

UWA: Beta, what on earth made you choose that color?
Me: *silent*

UWA: Betas shadion main to achay aur bright colors pehentay hain.
Me: Er, it isn’t that bad you know

UWA: Beta, you could have worn pink! Why didn’t you choose pink?
Me: Pink to aur both say log pehen laingay.. no?
(Talk about a lame answer) :(

UWL: So are you guys going to be in a beauty parlour?
Me: Well, probably yeah.

UWL: And you will have to get your eyebrows done too, yeah?
Me: *silent*

UWA: *pressing the matter* Beta, you have to look presentable, you have to do this, that, it’s a close wedding… everybody will be there… every minor flaw in the immediate family of the bride/groom is like, ‘visible!’ – you have to …

Me: *not able to keep it in any longer*… Look, I know you have valid points,  but it’s a clear Hadith which prohibits one to touch their eyebrows. So no, I am not into any cherum-chari with my eyebrows at least.

They both: *silent*
Some science experiments…

Sigh. Got farigh from there by 11.30, rushed downstairs and started ironing. In the middle of it, the door-bell rang. Driver was here (from Dad's clinic) and he was asking for the key. I ran to the place where the key is kept..and found NO key!!! Calling out to Mom, that I have to leave by 12.15 didn't prove to be useful cuz the only person who had that key last, was Dad. Sighhh. Called Dad up and found out that HE had mistakenly put the key in his pocket.

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

:D:D. Now I can smile at this :D:D. At the time, I was like... furious!

The fiasco was complete when Dad (on phone) pointed me towards the spare key. Happily, I took it to the driver. Eagerly, he inserted it into the slot and turned. Nothing happened. The lock wouldn't budge. He tried every tactic on the planet, but that 'spare' key never worked.

Then we had to send the driver back in a rickshaw for the key!!

Finally, he was here. And I was out.

The way is pretty much straight-forward - but in traffic, things get sticky. The time was 1pm-ish. So going-towards-shehr traffic wasn't supposed to be there. Ho! We couldn't get past the Quaid's Mausoleum area. Cars were all turning back from that point. Road completely blocked (or jammed). We had no idea why. We turned back, went from an extremely long route ... and were sitting in the car for 1 hour, 15-mins (in Karachi, in the heat, this is like a 4 hour drive, probably worse).

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

Finally, reached the friend's place. Had an amazing time, in most of the things. Underline most. The un-most things were all focused on me.

Conversation 1:

(Friend 1 = F1 and Friend 2 = F2)

F1: Soo, you told us about your first cousin wedding, yeah. What are you wearing?
Me: Oh, this frock style dress and um, choori daar I guess.

F1: And which color?
Me: *tells them the color*

F1: Uh, okay. Andddd what’s the material of the cloth?
Me: *quite clueless but still prattles off what the dukaandaar had said* Oh it’s something called ‘short-chiffon’ …
They: *nod wisely*
F1: You ARE going to a beauty parlor right?
Me: I probably will, yeah

F1: You need to do , etc etc
Me: *scowling*. Look, nobody is touching my eyebrows. I’m tellin ya

Both: *astonished at first, then both start talking*: But you HAVE to, are you NUTS? You just have to get them in ‘shape’ and you can just use a ‘tweezer’ every 10 or so days…
Me: *exasperatedly* LOOK. I have no intention of spending my precious time on my eyebrows EVERY ten days! No way!

F2: *sarcastically* It’s just 15 minutes spent on yourself – how long is THAT?
Me: No, sorry. That’s 45 minutes a month! Quite a lot!
They: *argue argue argue*

F1: Okay, now learn to use some makeup! You have to get lipsticks, blush-ons, eye-shadows, and mousse.
Me: *baffled* Mousse to khaatay hain nee?

F2: *looks exasperated*. NO, lagaatay bhe hain!
Me: *sighhhhh*

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

So three girls sitting together, talking about various things. What subject is the most LIKELY to crop up? Guess? You can’t? *rolls her eyes again*. It’s marriage of course.

Basically, F1 is married (and has an adorable 4 year old MA). She has been continuously after me and F2 because we’re the single ones. She’s been like a real dadi maa… :P Sometimes, we’re amused, and sometimes we’re like.. here goes F1 againnnnn, uff.

So today, the topic was touched upon in a rather ‘touchy’ manner.

Conversation 2
F1: So Uni, if you were ever getting married, would you talk to your spouse before marriage? Like normal chat etc..
Me: Nope
They: *look extremely surprised by my answer*

F1: You’re nuts, right?
Me: Nope

F2: Look, you’re just being idiotic. You have to BUILD a relationship…
Me: Well, that can ‘built’ like, after marriage!

F1: What in the world are you ever going to do!!?!?!? Sign a marriage contract and walk up to your spouse and say “Hi, I’m Uni. Your wife. Know me?”
Me: *trying desperately not to laugh here*… Bhui, you guys think your way, I think my way. Simple.

F2: Okay, what are you going to talk about then!! If you don’t know somebody, what do you talk to them about?
Me: I dunno. Books?

They: Haahahahaaa. You don’t talk to spouses about books! Idiot. Guys are into movies, and heavy-end games.
Me: *sigh*.. what do you know…. My spouse might like BOOKS too! It’s not un-heard of.
They: *give up. Uni ka kuch nahi ho sakta*…

For lunch, we had ordered Khawsey (man, amazing :D). It’s a Burmese dish…(I never knew). I always thought it’s a Gujerati dish, since it’s made in my family so much. For dessert, they opted to go to this place F1 recommended. I had informed them beforehand, that I won’t be even looking at desserts, but I’ll sure accompany them. Looking incredulously at me, they walked outside, and we all went to that place.

That dessert wali place had a strange setting. Aik to I haven’t been to these Zamzama outlets, so I’m not at all familiar with the eateries. It struck me a lil later what the setting of this place resembled. F1 mentioned it and it struck me… It resembled the setting of a pub.

A pub!!?!?!? :’(. I was sitting in a place which resembled a pub!

We walked up to the counter. Oh man, nobody trying to be healthy/fit should even step near that place. The aroma!! I could see chocolate fudge brownies, various kinds of cheese cakes, fresh bagels, and the menu had stuff like waffles, stack of pancakes, Oreo flavored pata nahi kia kia…

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

They ordered Chocolate fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream. I was determinly looking away. They tried a LOT to make me have some. Lol. But for somebody who has stayed away from chocolate since July 2010, and for somebody who has been away from sweetmeats for quite some months now, could resist the temptation… not with great difficulty. At much pressing though, I did taste it. Man, it was beyond awesome. The taste  in my mouth became bitter when I saw some of the posters on their walls. My eyes nearly popped out at one. It said (maybe not exactly, but on the lines of)

“Hot poker, and loose women here”

One of them depicted a guy with a beard on top of his head, and the caption read, “Fundo    Mental”

Another poster showed some bearded man and women too and the caption said something on the lines of “Taliban – with passion, lust etc etc

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

The place, and it’s food was no doubt beyond awesome. But in this kinda setting, people can only feel a lump in their throats and beg Allah SWT for Forgiveness while they sit there, throwing big money on small treats.

Finally, we came home. On our way back, one conversation went like this:

Conversation 3

F2: These idiots, holding a juloos like this. This is the reason why we were stuck in the jam! SOME public servants. 
Me: They’re just servants of their own pockets. Look what they did about the Raymond Davis case.

F2: *grinning*.. hehehe. He was a smart one. Used the Shariah. Got away. Heheh
Me: *stunned into silence for a few seconds then managed to say* Well, the Shariah was used wrongly, and he didn’t get the bright idea.. it was our dear ambassador!

F2: Whoever. Who cares! They were smart enough to use these laws. When you make DUMB laws like Diyat (blood money), what do you think will happen? If you have stupid laws like blasphemy around, what do you think will happen. It’s ridiculous – these Shariah laws. Look at the dumb zina laws. They make no sense, and if you have them, you’re gonna suffer. Bad.
Me: *silent*

Koi Meray Dil Ka Haal Jaanta - Uss Waqt

The fact of the matter is, these are my oldest (very first bffs) school friends. We have had such great times together. We still do. But I can’t help feeling how different their thinking and my thinking is. And that makes me wonder, will I ever fit in…in any crowd here? My previous Quran class friends are all scattered. The current Quran class is scattered (because sometimes I take it, sometimes I don’t), so friends I should forget about there.

This video lecture I watched tonight… nearly reduced me to tears.

May Allah Grant us all the company that we all need, Ameen.

And by the way:

They (all those who worship others than Allaah) invoke nothing but female deities besides Him, and they invoke nothing but Shaytaan, a persistent rebel!

Allaah cursed him. And he [Shaytaan] said: ‘I will take an appointed portion of Your slaves;
Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allaah.’ And whoever takes Shaytaan as a wali (protector or helper) instead of Allaah, has surely suffered a manifest loss.
[Al-Nisa’ 4:116-119]

In al-Saheeh, it was reported that Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Allaah has cursed the women who do tattoos and those who have this done, the women who pluck eyebrows and those who have this done, and the women who file their teeth and change the creation of Allaah.” 

Then he said: “Should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed, when it says in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… And whatsoever the Messenger gives you, take it, and whatever he forbids you, abstain (from it)…’ [al-Hashr 59:7]”


Moon said...

May Allah make it all easy for you.

And for every woman who is cornered by the society just because she chooses to stick to her principles and rejects the distorted image and role of a female that's so deeply ingrained in the minds of the masses by the mass media.


Allah says:

"O Prophet, tell your wives: ‘If you desire the life of the dunya and its finery, come and I will give you all you need and release you with kindness. But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the akhirah, Allah has prepared an immense reward for those among you who are good-doers." [Al-Ahzab, 33:28-29]

There surely is an immense reward for you too. InshAllah!

Tazeen said...

The last part was just so sad.

I want to let you know you're a good person, Uni baji. We don't have many of those around. Don't let these people discourage or dishearten you. :)

May Allah bless you!

Sis the Priss said...

Thumbs up to you Uni for standing up to them!

Also, a few comments:

1) You cannot build a relationship with anyone before marriage - this happens only after, and it is Allah's promise that He will put love and mercy between the couple, even if they are poles apart. This is His reward for them coming under the shade of a Nikah instead of "building relationships" outside of marriage. You have a real life example. T and I are really different people and sometimes I honestly wonder how we get along - this is truly a blessing from Allah (swt)!

2) Your married friends should read a truly inspirational article here:

3) Yes, I know you have been a little unlucky when it comes to friends, but Insha'Allah, Allah (swt) will make it up by granting you a truly like-minded soul-mate (Insha'Allah)

Sis the Priss said...


Tauqeer said...

This is highly inspirational post! you may just have expressed your recent experience but it does reflects attitude of masses for sure. We are seriously in sad state, and moreover we as nation are in complete state of denial.

May Allah(SWT)have mercy on us, help us all to become a better Muslim and help us to follow path of righteous. (Ameen)

majworld said...

i am smiling at the poor driver who was sent on rickshaw to get the keys :D..enjoyed reading the post..nd the comments of ur sis r quite sensible nd true..

blue.butterfly said...

I always thought that probably i am the only one who has been "unlucky with friends" due to "sticking to the principles"...but after reading your post i have found that I'm not alone....oh how i wish we could be friends :)

Btw i really enjoy reading your blog. Your writing style and humour always makes me smile!

blue.butterfly said...

While reading your post i remebered another blog post which I had once read:


Uni said...

JazakAllah so much, and Ameen!

Glad to know you (and others on this comment board) think the way you do. I had seriously begun to belive like I'm some alien who doesn't conform to the usual 'standards and practices' of society.

The Ayah reference is very pertinent Masha Allah, and a great reminder.

Thanks for dropping by!

The 'last part' was actually the saddest, most cry-able part of the day. And unfortunately, the class of society that can actually do something hugely positive for this country, thinks the same way. Ever saw Najam Sethi?

I am so humbled by your comment :). Made my day, actually. And yes, I'm struggling my best not to get influenced by anything like this. Peer pressure surely is difficult to handle.

Ameen and thanks so much for dropping by :)

Uni said...

@Sis the Priss
Thanks sis!

Point 1 is totally agreed upon. I could have never ever ever imagined TB (if I had ever met him before your marriage) that this guy can ever be my sis the priss's spouse. Haa Haa Haa :P

But you're right. The 'Planning' is done by Allah SWT and we just need to wholeheartedly believe in it.

Errr, I may have few friends, but the ones I mentioned in this post still happen to be among my best friends - simply for the reason that they keep in touch with me (like, they care!) even when I have no Facebook!

The sadness lies in the 'poles-apartedness' in their way of thinking and mine.

And by the way, would you not equate soul-mates with girl-friends?? :@

Lastly, the assignment's second part had to be done today. I can't say no, alrite! Ab hogya. Baat khatm .. :S

Thanks for dropping by!

Uni said...

I am kaafi disappointed by this society yes. Even though, we're supposed to be a Muslim country. Ameen (a lot) to the duas.

Thanks for dropping by!

Lol. Yes, poor uncle. But as they say, all's well that ends well!

Thanks for dropping by!

:) So glad you read the blog! This is the first time you commented, though. I'd love to be friends if you're the 'sticking to principles type':). My email can be found in the Profile section!

I read sadaf's post. MA, it sounded like my predicament :). But the solution (like hers) isn't that easy for me. I don't have any circle of 'sisters' around me :). I have Quran class friends, but we don't meet that often. Hence, I am usually feeling pretty lonely in the midst of crowds of 'acquaintences' :P

Thanks so much for the comment and for dropping by!

Glow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Glow said...

Ireturn after a long time but plan to stay... :P

a few comments or questions
1. how did u manage to cook so quickly or prep breakfast when i read your to do list i was like how will she manage ALL that in such a short time! wat did u coook ?

2. while reading the conversations i was thinking they dont sound like u so how can u be such gud friends :P but then ppl grow in different ways :) everyone has their own point of view and by listening to ppl u learn a lot in many different ways :)

3. Also you can get books for ur other half or talk to them about books. Some one i know got a book for her fiance on his birthday (although her friends still joke about it but so wat) its a thing that can be kept for years and above everything else its the thought that counts!!!! Intention!! :)

as for the eyebrows if u believe in something just do it... but it is said anything that might make you look like a man or has resemblance to manly features should be neatened... but i might be wrong i dont have such in depth knowledge but as far as i know there is no need you can use a pencil to define and that should be fine the beauticians have solutions :)

Uni said...

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy :D:D
Soooo glad to see you here .. :))

Acha. Now to your questions.

1. The breakfast isn't anything real to be cooked... I only have to heat milk and make tea and make toast. His breakfast comprises of cereal, and toast with cheese and tea.

Cooking main that day I only had to make rice and sabzi kaa salan (the sabzi were just two things only).. :P So hence, that part didn't take that much time.

2. They don't sound like me cuz they definitely ARE NOT like me :). But as I said, we've been friends since we were 12-year olds. Hence the friendship goes a loong way back.

True. I'd never shun their company ever - I'd just be a lil out of place all the time :S:S.

3. Oh cool. You have a real life example :D. Nice. Thanks!

but it is said anything that might make you look like a man or has resemblance to manly features should be neatened.

Exactly. And nobody (up till now) has come up to me and said that I look like a boy :D. So hence, I'm not availing the only option that is there for women to touch their eye-brows.

Thanks for dropping by :):):)

Glow said...

then dont :P

Uni said...

Er, what?
Samjhi nahi

(My IQ gets lower as the night progresses :D)

Glow said...

lolz coz i wasnt clear...

@eyebrows....i said dont do it.. :)

Uni said...

Lol.. Glad you think so :)


Glow said...

i believe in freedom of expression and personal preferences :D


Uni said...

Aww. That's one great quality you have MA.

Somebody I know is wayyyy khush-naseeb (MA!)


eh eh eh eh

Glow said...

lolzzzzz lets hope so :)

Someone i dont know is khush naseeb tooo :D

Uni said...

How very kind and futuristic of you :P:P

But thanks all the same :D:D

Glow said...

i knowwwwwwww!! :D ur welcome :D :D

UncleTom said...

Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Rehmatullah have written a book and title is

"Darhi ka rakhna wajib or uska Mazaaq urana Kufar hay"

that it is mandatory to keep a beard and its kufar to make fun of it

as you mentioned in your post how in a so called islami country there was a shop containing posters such as you mentioned , if you had taken a picture of it , i would get a batter idea....

these people have no knowledge on these islamic laws and issues and yet they comment as they are fully knowledgeable on em

if i were you i wouldn't have kept quite and i don't, i let people know that they have no knowledge on the issue and their ideology on the issue is totally wrong and against islam ( which can be seen on my Urdu Blog)

anyways the term Fundos i guess is been used in karachi a lot there was one nasty and smelly female blogger used the term against me.

i have "friends" in college even though they differ with me on various issues yet they support me on my moulviness

and don't feel as if you are the only alien in the earth, there are many of us here

blue.butterfly said...

Yes you are right...We all know how important it is to have rightous friends by our sides but sometimes we really don't have much choice. In such cases we have to be "friends" with our aquaintances because there is no other way...but when we do have choice then definitely we should chose to be among the ones who would make us closer to our deen.
May Allah give all of us the righteous company!Ameen

(P.S Hmm that really was my first comment but i have been a silent reader of your blog for quiet some time :) )

Uni said...


I would have taken a picture had I er, the guts. But if I were alone, I would have done so :S.

And I kept quiet because I don't want to lose the meager contact we have :). And I believe that cutting ties isn't the solution. Furthermore, I knew more venom would be spewed, if I argued further (I have sufficient experience in this). Hence, kept quiet.

JazakAllah for your comment :)

That is exactly what I mean. I don't believe in completely isolating myself and shutting myself up in the house and not venturing out (God Knows how little I venture out waisay hee although my next post will negate this statement :P)

Ameen :) And JazakAllah for reading the blog. I never thought my blog has silent readers.. Wow.

New for me :D

Thanks! Btw, what's with blue.butterfly? :P

blue.butterfly said...

lol just a nick i use for myself!(Don't remember how i came up with it though) much the same as Uni...or is it your real name? :P

Uni said...

Lol. Yeah I can understand that. Much the same way I use Uni.

No, not at all my real name :D

[I used to be an indulgent idiot when i kept it Uni... since I er, okay this is stupid, but when I was on FB I was 'Uni Que']

:P --> so that's where Uni came from.

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