Saturday, January 15, 2011

Out of Place :$


There are times when one feels helplessly out of place, and totally powerless to do anything about it. One of those times was the wedding today - of my first cousin's first cousin :). MA. It was a nice experience. Only if I didn't have to cringe later at some of the things that happened in the wedding today.

One incident I'll relate.

So what happened was that this cousin of mine (the bride) was in my school - so other friends were also there. Alif Bay Pay was also there (bffffff can't stop the fs). And this pal of mine, along with another friend's mum went up to the stage to ''meet the bride'' -

Now, whenever I actually land up on the stage, I'm like... shuffling my feet about, totally at a loss as to what should I SAY, (except Salam). I mean, a ''how are you'' sounds so totally foolish. How would a dulhan be!! She can't answer anything except ''Fine, thank you'' !! She's not going to say ''Oh, I have a backache from this heavy jewelery'' :P

Sigh. So me the blundering clumsy soul went up ahead of others and said salaam, I got the answer - then the friend's mum sat down beside the bride, trying to make small talk (apparently, she had expected me - the total fool - to also sit down on the stage besides the bride). But hello! The seat she had taken was besides the bride - and ~!! the groom was sitting down on the other side of the bride. So where was I or the friend (and chotpo too!) behind me supposed to sit. Besides the groom? No possible way in the whole wide world!!

After a few totally awkward stumbling minutes, when nobody could think of anything to say, my friend's mum got up hurriedly, we all did an about turn - and went back down .... me telling myself --

I dunno why I just didn't sit down besides the groom and started an animated chat with the general environment. I mean, people would have eventually joined in :D. 

Khair. The minute we came down, they all rounded at me.
Chotpo: Uni. Why did we go up at all?
Alif: You idiot. That's how you meet a bride? Why didn't you shake hands even!?
Me: Listen, if the bride stretches out HER hand, then Im going to shake it... Im not spoiling anybody's jewelery/makeup.

Needless to say, it was one clumsy moment of the day. 
Some moments are there when you wish sorely you hadn't forgotten the camera back home. Two other classmates of mine were there too, and we never knew. Later on, when we had had dinner, Alif spotted them both. We got up to meet them. They were both moving towards the stage. I reached them first, and tapped them both on the back - they spun around, astonished. Stared open-mouthed. Understanding and recognition dawned on both of them simultaneously. And then they both simultaneously yelled , ''UUUNNIII'' - - eh eh eh eh. Priceless, I tell you!
We all traipsed towards the stage again, Alif telling them all how moronic I had been, and how we should meet properly etc etc .... Lol. I shrugged and now followed them. We all went up again. Same hi-hellos again. Uff. Finally, at another awkward moment, when nobody could think of anything to say, I came up with the brilliant, ''Aray posture to seedha karlo !!" to the bride!! *groan*

Suave. Simply genius. 

I don't think I've ever met a more socially awkward idiot in my life. There has got to be a cure to it. I'll try searching online. 

So long!


Anonymous said...

thats my pal !
I still rem your awkward salams when you would deliberately stop some people!

Sis the Priss said...


MAN!! But do not worry. I am just as worse!

Uni said...

*laughing*. You remember that? Man, that was a riot. It was so cool to see those expressions of utter bewilderment ...:D:D

@Sis the Priss
Eh eh eh. Cool to see you realize how utterly lote pote with laughter I was when writing this post. :D

You're not worse behn. You've learned a lot since marriage :P

Thanks both for dropping by!

Tazeen said...

That made me giggle. The ending. Awkward stuff happens to me at weddings only and I feel just as frustrated as you did but eventually it turns into yet another memory.

I get painfully speechless at social events. =/

Uni said...

Lol. This is bad you know. Others always seem sooo smart/sophisticated/cool (in terms of saying the mature thing at the RIGHT time, not a moronic thing at a WRONG time!). :P

Memory to hay...that's very true. One very optimistic way of looking at things.

Painfully speechless is right ..*grimace*. OR, at worse times, I get even more painfully talkative..

*double grimace*
Thanks for traipsing by :)

Tauqeer said...

Haan unko posture thiek rekhna chaiyeh tha, warna aisa comment na suntay!

Uni said...

That's kind of harsh lol .. because of the heavy dupatta/jewelery what not.. the poor bride is completely weighed down.

Woh alag bat that my stupid brain noticed that and blurted out the first thing that came to the mind.


Thanks for dropping by!

UncleTom said...

socially awkward idiot >>> i thought of my self lol

i thought ppl are suppose to enjoy wedding parties ,, how do you think bride is going to enjoy with weight loaded on her like a donkeys back ,,,

desis waste everything ...

Uni said...

@Uncle Tom
:).. lol. Brides usually are too concerned about looking 'a particular way' on that 'particular day' that they normally feel very fine and dandy about their get up..

It's beyond me how can one enjoy with such weight - yes.. so I agree with you. But many won't :P