Sunday, October 10, 2010

October 2007

Assalamualaikum

This is a rather sad poem, written at a very low moment, around 2 days ago. The time was around 3 am, and I had wanted to put it off till the midterm (second one) was over. The verses just wouldn't keep in! After staring at some paragraphs from dynamic execution of processors, and making up sad verses simultaneously, I had to give up the books, and sit down with a pen/paper.

Btw, my second midterm (as expected) wasn't great. Not that I will complain about this. The teacher is marvelous, and she had given a very standard paper, nothing ''out of this world'' - it was stupid me who had tried to cram the whole 8 lectures in the previous four days, having never picked up the book before. So nobody's fault except mine. The good thing is, that it's now OVER, and I can finally get back to other stuff.

So now, the poem....(disclaimer: it's long!)
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October 2007

I usually don't wish
''UNDO'' buttons in my life
Serves no useful wish
So why the unnecessary strife

Today ''practicality'' has fled
As I gaze into the past
Too many things... ''SAID''
Too many memories, I hold fast

It was October 2007
Life was way simpler
Kinda feels like heaven
More fulfilling, a lot happier!

Let's start with this
Days didn't seem SO hollow
I still had my Sis the Priss!
And I looked forward to ''tomorrow''

Not that I'm not happy
Not that I'd ever regret!
That she's so happy dappy!
But that ''thing'' is gone, I can bet

I still had huge goals
Nothing seemed impossible
Reality still hadn't burnt a hole
In my lofty, sky-high ideals

I had wanted so badly to achieve
So many things back then
Never had my brain concieved
That ''today'' would be completely different!

I was sure of a blossoming career
Staying home was a huge no-no
But this, being my greatest fear
Has now turned into a real ''foe''

It's been exactly three years since then...
I'm recalling all the ''friends'' I had
So much fun, horsing around with them
Only to watch it fade away, like an aged fad!

All ''groups'' ungrouped
Career and family is now in the way
Man, was I severely duped
When I thought it'd last - this way!

Now with all communication means
Wired, wireless, whatever!
Hardly a ''hello'', ''how you've been''
A phone call? Hardly ever!

As I become more ''updated''
I'm more alienated than ever
From "real'' people - how ill-fated
Has been the downslide, in these years!

October 2007 was also the start
A start of our FYP
A huge decision, taken from the heart...
And where did that lead me? 

You wouldn't want to know the tale
Behind that ''project'' of ours!
The downslide had begun, and I failed
To understand it, at that hour!

I regret the next year, loads!
And the next, even more
There were times when I SHOULD have showed
Sympathy... the back door!

What we have now, we cannot wish away
What we lost then, we cannot gain
But we can wish, and we can pray
To get SOME sense, and stay sane!

One thing, I nearly forgot
Too important, is this one
In Oct. 2007, we hadn't got
Suicide bombers, on THIS free a run!

People didn't die right and left
Citizens weren't this hounded
Things have become quite bereft
Of hope... as we see our courage grounded!

So things have turned out for the worse
In more ways, than one
I can sit and weep, I can sit and curse
But the ''UNDO'' button, cannot come!

Copyright Uni_Quite_Sadoony_2010 [Oct. 8th, 2010 - 3.00 am]

--------------------------------------------
After I had written this, and feeling all down etc, checked my mail, and there was ONE friend, who had written to me.. :):)... Schottkey... more than 8k miles away from Karachi, and has an 8 month old, AND she shifted places recently, even THEN, has the time to write to me... Aww. 

That was a low moment, and that email cheered me up immensely! Thanks soo much pal !!





8 comments:

PassingStranger said...

Your poem is depressing. I'm feeling depressed now :/
Cheer up, its been 3 years right, sure there is no undo button in life but there are always lessons to be learnt and realisations which if done, will surely steer you in a direction that you will be happy about after 3 years :)
Thanks soo much pal !!
I think when we feel very low, then even very minute gestures feel awesome.
Cheer up pal :)

Uni said...

@PassingStranger
I was depressed while writing it, so obviously, it shows.

I'm happy about quite a few things, but at that time, (and probably most of the times), it's the things I didn't want - that haunt me.

Thanks for dropping by and for the comment.

Sis the Priss said...

Oye, wait a second. You STILL have your Sis the Priss. AND you have a wonderful bhanju wanju who does not even LOOK at his mother when his khala is around, and who runs after his khala even if she is praying or doing wudhu.

majworld said...

enjoyed reading the poem..nice poem to describe the tale of past with bit broken dreams. But last line just explains everything..
I can sit and weep, I can sit and curse
But the ''UNDO'' button, cannot come!

Its just the ultimate truth which if one understands, may be this is infact the real success. One should try the best and then get happy with whatever decision written for him. this is key to leading a satisfied life. So keep trying..Inshallah u'll see ur wishes coming true one day.

Bea said...

Reality still hadn't burnt a hole
In my lofty, sky-high ideals...

nice one..

Uni said...

@Sis the Priss
:) yeah Alhamdulillah. All true. No disagreements there!

The only point of this poem was that there are certain wrongs, that cannot be 'righted' - and it can't be helped either .... which I'm not in the least bit happy about. That's what it meant.

Thanks for the comment, though. Bhanju wanju's 'running after me' soch kar I'm not able to keep on being sad :D...

@majworld
Yes, that's right. That's the key of this thing... and it's always best not to waste a LOT of time, cursing certain things in the past. I guess that's why I hurriedly wrote the poem... and kept aside the books for a while :)

Thanks for the comment, and for dropping by!

@Bea
Thanks very much. Every verse is from the heart :)

Thanks for dropping by!

majworld said...

the real value of writing this poem will show with the result of that midterm :p.kidding..gud luck for the result..

Uni said...

@majworld
Lol. Yeah, it will be figured out just how much this poem 'cost' me ...! The mids were not nice though... I have little hope for them, really.