Let it go .. :)

Source

Letting Go

Let the dream go
With a smile
Yes, it will suck
For a while

Let the pain go
It's not too bad
Nothing's going to come
Out of being sad

Let life roll
Fate's going to win
Hold out your arms
Embrace it with a grin!

Academics CAN come later
This dream can materialise
You can't have everything you fantasised
And this... I have totally realised

**smiling**

Copyright Uni A-lil-wise-oony 2009



Is this legible? :)

Lastly, one should NOT have...this...


Source

Hehe. Quite photogenic today ..:P So long!

Of life's (un)predictability

Source

Usually in life, we're so so SO busy. Either busy in wasting time, or busy in the daily happenings (work) we do (or sometimes don't). Either way, we're usually too busy to sit, and reflect upon some basic and ultimate realities of this world.

So here is something that happened in my family ...which I'd like to share. It opened my eyes, at least. Hope it makes you reflect as well.

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Would you agree with me when I say that when a wedding ceremony occurs in a family, the entire family and relative population gets extremely busy with dresses, dress designs, accessories, mehendi (henna), which parlour to choose... furniture, shopping, shopping and MORE shopping....hall selection, food items, jewelery.. sigh. Blah.

What I mean to say is, that one tends (it is generalising -- I'm quite sure there are exceptions), to get immersed in all the material aspects of a wedding, and is SO busy in making sure that those aspects are all covered, and glittery on the Big Day, that they can quite forget any other thing that might matter as well.

We had a cousin's wedding yesterday. I didn't go.. (WHY didn't I go :(.. ). I was like.. "Main valimay main jaaoongi (I will go to the Valima ceremony, which was to be held today). The wedding was glittery....quite amazing. Dad and Chotpo reported. The groom, by the way, is my father's first cousin's son.. (Aunty S's son, shall we say). Aunty S had heart problems for a long time...:S And she passed away less than a year ago. This guy is the only son.

Today...The Valima day..

2.45 pm: The family was having lunch
The groom's dad (Uncle P) asked the people around him whether his clothes were ready or not, for this evening. Everybody assured him that they were nearly pressed and ready.

3.00 pm: They all finished dinner. Uncle P got up from the table. Suddenly, he stumbled. And started choking.

3.05 pm: My dad received a call. Uncle P is unconscious. What do we do!!!
My dad: Call an ambulance immediately. I'm too far away.
3.10 pm: The folks ran out to get a neighbouring doctor. He ran to their place.
3.15 pm: Uncle P was pronounced dead.


Source
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It was shocking beyond shocking. My dad was like, "I had sat with him the whole time yesterday!! He was right beside me!"

The funeral prayer was held at magrebain (combination of Maghrib and Isha prayers). We went to the Gusl Khana (place where the dead body is given ghusl, and the special prayer, namaz-e-janaza, is held). It was a terrible scene. The bride sat there, decked in henna, clad in simple clothes, her face, reflecting the shock and horror, and the sheer unexpectedness of the day's outcome. Her big day.

*deep sigh*. I would like you, the dear reader, to take a moment. Reflect on how unpredictable this life is, and how MUCH time we spend on trivial, meaningless, even sheer WRONG things in life. If I analyse myself, lately... I've been spending a lot of time, moping. And how? I mope by opening this piano software I recently acquired. And start playing any song that comes to the brain. How wrong, SO wrong..is that! :'(. Not only the the music factor, but sheer time wastage, and not to mention a supremely heavy head later on!

So from now onward, I have vowed to improve. I hope you make a vow as well. At least we can INTEND to change... That's the first step isn't it.

Since you're here.. do read this dua'a. It's called Syed-ul-Astaghfar (prayer for forgiveness). It's said that if a person has sins as much as the froth in an entire sea, they will be forgiven, if he/she really means and reads this dua'a.

Take care all.

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Narrated Shaddad bin Aus:
The Prophet said "The most superior way of asking for forgiveness from Allah is: 'Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta, Anta Khalaqtani wa ana abduka, wa ana 'ala ahdika wa wa'dika mastata'tu, A'udhu bika min Sharri ma sana'tu, abu'u Laka bini'matika 'alaiya, wa Abu Laka bidhanbi faghfirli innahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa anta." The Prophet added. "If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it, and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise; and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it, and dies before the morning, he will be from the people of Paradise."
Bukhari,Volume 8, Book 75, Number 318.

Source

PS: You will have to click the dua'a image, and read it in enlarged form.

Positivities in my life ..

Image Source

Salam

As suggested by a commentator, I would like to highlight some positive notes of my life at the moment.

Here I go.

1. ..

It's harder than I thought. I really need to change! **thinking**

Oh yeah, got it.

1. Yesterday's Advanced Switching Theory class went GREAT. Why? Because I understood everything that was taught in class. Get that? Not 2%, not 5%..:D 100%! And this ain't no boasting either. (because the rest of the kids got it all too!) BUT.. me, having no background and everything.. :) Man.. that felt SO good.

2. Today's class ..Intro to AI. That went well as well. I mean, I did solve something she had given.. I guess, second. In the whole class. That felt great!

3. Ph.D seems really far off. But at least I've begun to look at the research pages, and criteria for P.h.D. Till now, I was SO convinced that MS should be done, and then Ph.D that I never bothered looking anywhere for doctoral stuff. Now, at least I've begun looking. That's a plus.. **doubtfully**, isn't it..:S

4. Umm.. :) Something I was REALLY not sure that would work out ... is looking positive, and MAY actually work out. Just a feeling.

5. I ain't as sad as I was two weeks back.. :)

6. Ooh.. yeah. The last post... about the Grand Disappointment. That's not feeling too bad either right now.

7. **scratches head and thinks more**.. there's got to be more positivity lying around.. I just am not recalling it. Oh yeah. This research opportunity I came across. Of course I wouldn't dream of applying to it, especially since it concerns Wireless Sensor Networks (something I'm keenly looking at, for now.. but not really SKILLED at).. So. I took that print out to the teacher, and asked him a few questions regarding it. The positive point: I didn't care that I would look dumb. Er, because I AM the dumbest in that particular class.
BUT, there was this ONE remark, the teacher made...about English skills AGAIN, that really got to m................... Uh, that's negative...:S

So yeah. I got the guts to actually take a research page to a teacher in whose class I'm the dumbest :D

Um, can't think of anymore. I'll just leave you with a poem I wrote in Intro to AI class today. It was 8.30 pm. I was dead. (WHY did I sleep late yesterday!!!!!)

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My head keeps nodding
All on its own
This has been happening awhile
*Deeeeeeep groan*

I'm trying really hard
To push my eyelids UP
The lecture drones on
Can't there be some... GUP SHUP?

I stare bleakly at them
As the slides beam back at me
There are 71 of them
Current one: 48 ONLY

Breadth-first, Depth-first
And God Knows WHAT first
I only know that
My head is surely going to BURST!

Copyright Uni 40-winkoony 2009

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The poem isn't happy or anything.. but I just kind of grinned when I thought about it :) So positive!

Oh yeah! I forgot one real important positive. The class yesterday was good also because I talked to the fellow classmates! For quite a while! (Wasn't the loner:D), and !!! This is the conversation I had with one of them:

Me: Where do you live
Her: Part A of Karachi
Me: *squeals* Oh. Me too! Which block?
Her: Block KLM
Me: WHAT? ME TOOO...
Me: So like, which lane?
She: Lane LMH
Me: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
(LMH is my lane :P)
Me: House number?
She: 765
Me: *speechless*

She lives three houses away from me. And I never KNEW!

**shakes her head in amusement**...

So long!

Extremely supremely disappointed

Salam

I am so disappointed today, so disappointed today, that it can't really be expressed in bits and bytes. Something I had worked for, spent time and energy on, and hoped for too, did not yield positive results.

I had wished that this thing would somehow work out, but it didn't. It sucks basically.

I know all the "positive talk" like:

1. Haqq main behtar hoga (it would be beneficial in the long run)

2. It's God's Will

3. You're needed by your folks

4. There is always a silver lining blah!

5. There are brighter days to come ...

6. Aur pata nahi kia kia kia!

It all sounds like bakwas right now. And i know it ain't going to last. I know simply one week from now on, I will be feeling TOTALLY differently. But hey, this one week from now on...IS... er, one week away. So for now, I will mope.

Waisay.. **thinking** I also know that if I wasn't having such a miserable time with current studies, I might not have taken this disappointment so heavily.

Realistically speaking, it wasn't something to be HIGHLY expected. BUT... as I mentioned, the times at university are totally miserable. A case in point is just last week Wednesday (one week back..hmm! A pattern :P].. I was SO miserable in class, that I had actually stopped registering the teacher's words. They just zoomed by, without entering my brain.

And for the record, I HATE not understanding anything in a lecture. Completely utterly hate it...

But at that point, the misery took over, and I bitterly wished that I was anywhere other than the darned place. Some might ask..why in heavens am I doing this when I don't like it. So the fact is...that I have nothing against the course.. as in, the syllabus. Only against the background/environment/smirks/comments etc.. that get to me.

Khair... miseries aside, the only high point in life right now is .. keh :P er, I'm still alive. So I MUST be serving SOME purpose... Even if that purpose is beyond me right now.

KOI na koi to maslehat hogi hee ...

So long!

PS: Mayoosi (utter despair) is kufr by the way. So hey, I am hopeful IA that maybe somehow, things will be better soon.


Image source

Murder of the snake :)

Lol. I posted this on Facebook. Here's the promised video.

I had made this a long time back. It just wasn't getting uploaded :S:S

Enjoy the gory scenes. Please. Those who are faint-hearted, or have aversion to bloodiness... DO NOT WATCH!

Rain .. blessing or...?

This blog post is going to be a video-ey one. I captured these clips, and made this video with the intention of showing just what happened in Karachi after 5 minutes of the first shower of the monsoon season.

I don't need to remind you that there have been more than 25 deaths in Karachi, since the monsoons began on Friday. The biggest city of Pakistan. The recent developments in city, hailed far and wide, are now questionable. Why wasn't the drainage system upgraded ?

What's stopping THIS development from occurring.

The power problems in the city are dismal. Tall claims made by KESC have all been sucked down the drain (pun definitely intended).

Anyway, watch the video. Hope you're inspired to do something for the city. If you feel that, the purpose of the video is served.

Israeli soldiers speak out on Gaza

I applaud them. Here is the abridged news story below:

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A group of soldiers who took part in Israel's assault in Gaza say widespread abuses were committed against civilians under "permissive" rules of engagement.

The troops said they had been urged to fire on any building or person that seemed suspicious and said Palestinians were sometimes used as human shields.

Breaking the Silence, a campaign group made up of Israeli soldiers, gathered anonymous accounts from 26 soldiers.

Israel denies breaking the laws of war and dismissed the report as hearsay.

The report says testimonies show "the massive and unprecedented blow to the infrastructure and civilians" was a result of Israeli military policy, articulated by the rules of engagement, and encouraged by a belief "the reality of war requires them to shoot and not to ask questions".

One soldier is quoted saying: "The soldiers were made to understand that their lives were the most important, and that there was no way our soldiers would get killed for the sake of leaving civilians the benefit of the doubt."

Another says: "People were not instructed to shoot at everyone they see, but they were told that from a certain distance when they approach a house, no matter who it is - even an old woman - take them down."

Other allegations in the testimonies of the 14 conscripts and 12 reserve soldiers include:

• Civilians were used as human shields, entering buildings ahead of soldiers
Large swathes of homes and buildings were demolished as a precaution or to secure clear lines of fire for the future.

• Some of the troops had a generally aggressive, ill-disciplined attitude

• There was incidents of vandalism of property of Palestinians

• Soldiers fired at water tanks because they were bored, at a time of severe water shortages for Gazans

• White phosphorus was used in civilian areas in a way some soldiers saw as gratuitous and reckless

• Many of the soldiers said there had been very little direct engagement with Palestinian militants.

Source: BBC News July 15, 2009

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This should at least open the eyes of all those who seem to think that human rights abuses are restricted to "fundamentalists/islamisst" only. Here is a huge example of gross violation of basic human rights, and to add even more credibility to this -- it's the soldiers who are speaking out.

I wonder if any action can be taken against them. After all, critics will argue that this is just hearsay and all anonymous.

May Allah Bless the Palestinians and grant them sabr and of course, Jannah. And May we somehow become able to help out our poor, oppressed Muslim brethren in several different parts of the world. Ameen


Image taken from here

The wave...

Source

I sit and stare around
Desperate to find
A crest, in this troughy day
A crest, bright and fine

A crest that would lift me up
Life my spirits and mood
A crest that would provide me wisdom
And for thoughts -- some FOOD

A crest that would lift the doom
With its curve, reaching a peak
A crest that would be wide
To allow maximum time in between

A crest which would obliterate
All my troubles, my fears
One that would smile upon
Anybody who goes near

Someday, that crest will come
The world is but a wave
But troughs really really suck
And are rather tough to brave

Copyright Uni Idioticalloony 2009

----------------------------------------
By the way, the trough-est part of this day was when I mustered up enough courage and went to the teacher after class today:-

Me: Sir, I need to ask a question
Him: Yes, of course
Me: Sir, I don't understand what a bat and a ball is...in cricket I mean.. (those who KNOW cricket, know what a bat and ball is.. erm ...this is all symbolic ok? Just to depict how BASIC my question was)

Him: Explained.. But added a sentence in the midst: Now see, *smirking*, one can't sit down, open up notepad, and write an article about this thing, you've got to KNOW stuff...

Me: Oh... *rather blindly*... didn't catch any words after this lovely sentence waisay. Stumbled out of class. I don't think I've ever cried in public ...thank the Lord. But today, this statement came 75% undone.. :$.. Shukkar I could fake a bad cold or something.

The end.

(for those who don't get it, please don't ask :S:S:S.... That sentence hit an already rather raw nerve).

So long ..

The sea

I'm mesmerised by the sea, the crashing waves. I wished sorely at that time, keh I had my netbook with me..:P But chotpo hadn't let me take it .. I would have loved to do a blogpost sitting watching the sea

God Knows I was certainly in the mood to..

So here is a video of the waves crashing (um, kinda)..and a depiction of Karachi's Hawkes' Bay :P and how much it needs to be cleaned up!

The picnic ...

آج ھم پکنک پے گۓ - بڑا مزہ آیا - کچھ زیادہ ہی آگیا - بڑے ڈرامے ہوے - زیادہ لوگ زیادہ مصیبتیں
D: -- حوکس بے کا نام حوکس بے کیوں ہے یہ آج تک سمجھ نہیں آیا --

خیر، یہ فوتوس لیں -- ایک وڈیو بھی ہے جس میں ایک نیولا ایک سانپ کا قتل کر دیتا ہے - ٢٠٠ روپے میں یہ تماشا میں نے دیکھا - آپ لوگ مفت دیکھئے گا --

:) کاش میں نے وہ سٹوپڈ گانا نہیں دیکھا ہوتا -- میرے دماگ میں گھس گیا ہے -- ںکل ہی نہیں رہا کمبخت D: --

I will always associate this music with that particular moment ... *deep sigh

So long -- سو لانگ D: D: D:

(meant for July 12, 2009 -- Sunday)

Horrible... simply horrible

I just feel like writing
Writing, writing away
What else can I do
In this otherwise dreary day

Things don't always go well
Merriment is sometimes forced
Smiles are at times frozen
Happiness not really endorsed

The sun seems to shine brighter
Lighting some spots in our lives
The moon comes out, everything that was dark
Glows with the surreal light

The stars look so small
Yet, they're huge, gigantic
Our problems are so small, yet seem huge
Exactly the opposite

The world will keep on spinning
The sun will spread its rays
The moon will peek out always
It is us, who have to change

Written while trying to study 20 minutes before class --
Copyright Uni Philosophicaloony 2009

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9.00 pm

Class was horrible today. Indescribably horrible. The Advanced Switching theory, apparently got too advanced, I think. Why did I ever think I would be able to do this thing?
I have serious chances of flunking. Usually, my folks and friends take this statement to be just “passing” and not really “serious.” But this time, I'm dead serious. I have no hope.

Funnily enough, the mood I was in, I had prayed kinda that this class should go well. But...not in qismat I suppose. Not to mention, we have this assignment, which is “apparently easy”. Not for me of course. I didn't even get the example solved on the board. In class.

And how could I hold up an entire class working on XYZ, while I didn't get ABC? No way. Pride won't let me do so.

I have to just study on my own. Or stop caring. At one point, I nearly howled. And at one point, I just stopped caring. To hell with these studies, to hell with this “advance-pan” and to hell with this stupid question which I never quite understood.

Worse, it was no fault of the teacher. He was explaining again and again. Each time, I remained blank. I couldn't get it. It was as if, my mind had a MIND of its own. It just reflected any lecture word that came to it in the air waves.

Worst class of my life.

So long.

By the way, remember the test which had seemed so good... ? I mean, I knew I hadn't done well, but ... I just found out that I got the second LOWEST marks in the entire class.

Yeah... talk about the day that wouldn't stop giving me unpleasant surprises.....


Source

Of merriment :D:D:D:D

Salaam to all.

The day was spent trying desperately to find a small window of time, which would let me study the 87 + 67 slides (first and second lectures of distributed computing systems course), of which I had a test today.

Now, these matter to me -- especially since everybody seems to hell-bent to prove that a dept L student can't make it in a computer science department ..

Yeah :). So I tried, and tried. The entire day went by. All my resolutions of sleeping early, getting up early failed rather badly. Because I did manage to sleep early (light had gone :P), but when I woke up early, I couldn't' sleep again, which meant basically that I was up since .. 6.30 :(

Sigh.

Anyhow, work day went by. I was out of the office at 4.00 pm today (had to buy textbooks). I found most :D .. Thank the Lord. Next, reached university half an hour early. Thank the Lord again :D:D. Started going through slides feverishly. It was terrible. Slides have the annoying ability to consist of fragments, incomplete sentences, a word or SO... *scowl*

So finally, 70 slides later, utterly exhausted, I trudged heavily towards the lab. Sir didn't take the quiz immediately. It was supposed to be taken at the end!!! 8.40 pm! Ugh! Out came the netbook, and there I was, at times looking at the screen (with the new lecture), and Sir's face (as he explained), and kabhi looking at the netbook lil screen, where the previous infinite slides smirked at me...It was BAD.

As usual, the lecture was replete with "Oh you must have done this this that that in 3rd year, 2nd year... etc" and I had no idea. Sigh. [why didn't we do Operating Systems? Or Parallel Processing! I can't believe operating system is a SUBJECT on its OWN...]

My netbook battery was nearly dead, when I firmly closed it. I couldn't bear lookin at it any longer. The test papers were handed out. So one good thing. It wasn't a "recall-and-win" test paper. It was more like "think-and-you-might-just-good-grades" paper
:D:D:D

That's what I LOVED about that test. Uh, I'm not saying mine was perfect. It wasn't. I checked (already discovered I made a mistake :S:S), BUT, the paper was good. It reminds me of how I felt after the DSP final exam :D...Ahhh...what a paper :D

So that's one good end to this otherwise silly freakish effort of reading 152 slides in an hour!

SO... merriment.. why? :P

This young lady (in-charge of our girls' common room), she always used to smile at me (the sort of smile that's almost a laugh kinda), whenever she saw me. I never took that as anything other than "being very friendly." So I usually always smiled back.

NOW :D

Today, she was nearly bursting with laughter. I looked at her a lil strangely. Weird. After Asr prayer, when I came out of the prayer area, she again smirked, and said something I couldn't hear. When I went closer, she says "Aap mujhay bilkul larka lagti hain (giggle giggle giggle)" [You look exactly like a boy to me hahahahaha]

:S:S:S... I was soooooooooooo surprised I just stared at her in silence :D Then my tongue unraveled and I said "KIA?" (WHAT?). She repeated the statement, still giggling.

:D:D:D:D I was like.."WHY"?
Then I stuttered out "But I wear a scarf!!!"

She says "Jee, but aap ka style hee kuch aisa hay, chalnay walnay ka, mujhay to bilkul larka lagti hain" (yeah, but your style is such, especially walking style, that you completely resemble a guy) :S

Source

For a while I stared at her, then burst out laughing. I've never heard of a more funnier, ludicrous thing in my life. I mean, yes, I was called "boyish" when I was a BABY, and had a boycut... (2-3 years old) but hello !!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Sigh :D Life can be very strange sometimes.

Last, but not the least, another human being sent a real lovely birthday gift. I'm (I've mentioned this a lot of times before) ..overwhelmed by the effort people put in...seriously :D I just can't imagine it...the time spent..etc ... for their fellows :D... Amazing.


Originally taken from here

Resolutions hee resolutions!

Now this one comes every year. If not on the blog, then in my mind of course. I keep feeling and thinking that I'm wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy old now. I mean..... wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy old.

I feel old. I know the heart should be young and a person should be young at heart, light-hearted, joyous, happy-go-lucky ...etc etc!

BUT..

My heart weighs me down at the moment.

Itnay saray years spent on this planet. What measly difference have I made to any lil specie on the planet? I could have at least saved a "ant hill" like Hazrat Sulaiman.. but I haven't even done THAT...let alone bigger things :S:S:S:S

Mahasra....that's what I need to do. Er, wait. I think it's Mahasba. Sigh. I need to make my Urdu better as well!!!! That's my first resolution!

Second, I need to become a better Muslim (that's first in priority though)... I pray and everything, but what good is musalmaniat, when you know in your heart, that you commit sins every day! And you go out into the world in a religious garb, so everybody would think "Oh, so religious"..not knowing that this "Oh, so religious" has quite many skeletons in HER closet ... :(:(

These virtual illusions totally weigh me down. And kaafi dafa, quite literally, prevent me from sleeping at night.

Today I realise the enormity of the burden I carry. The burden of responsibility. I need to have something on my plate, when I stand before my Lord, on the Day of Judgement... And no, O Level, A level, BE, MEng doesn't COUNT. There has got to be something more... something worthy. Something that would earn a Muslim a place in Jannah!

The only thing I can earn, for the moment. Is dua'a. DO stuff, that would earn me dua'a of people. It's a give and take thing. A dua'a is the best gift I can give anybody. Speaking of gifts... **eyes gleaming**



I did get a lot of wishes, and mini-presents in the form of messages :D:D. Not to mention, some gifts, that I would surely surely value and remember for life. These things are hard to forget. Even if it's a simple card. The fact that somebody sat down, chose a card, thought carefully about the message, put in the effort... is... overwhelming.

So a huge thank you, to everybody who made that effort... :) And a dua'a to those who made extra effort "May Allah always keep you smiling and happy, in this world, and in the Herefafter, Ameen" :)

So long!


Source

Today's class -- pictorial view :P

I write too much. I will explain today with pictures!

Today, we had IAI (Introduction to Artificial Intelligence)... :D .. I was so excited...like this:


Source

At the end of the lecture.. :S:S.. I was like this:


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Sigh. I had thought it would be like.. :S exciting. It was very very informative. Teacher asked us : What do you think will be the course contents ...? What will we cover?

I, the bubbly excited student ...almost bursting out of my chair with eagerness...says confidently "Robotics!" ... :$:$:$:$:$

She smiles in amusement and says "Robotics is just a BRANCH of AI -- So what are we going to cover in this course, anybody else?"

:$

As usual, I was like:


Source

Suffice it to say, I didn't speak much in class again. :S

So this course is basically going to be about analysis, evaluation, reviews, getting to know stuff. How about design? :( :(

I was envisioning being a neural networks scientist! Somebody who would design the first real working model of the human brain... **lost in thought**


Source

And become a Nobel Prize winner .... having understood perfectly, what THIS is:


Source

:D.. Now I have come back to earth. I'm just STARTING this course. And look at me. Sigh. Anyway, I hope something really big comes out of it. I have a LOAD of expectations!

And by the way... message of the day:


Source

So long :)

Postie in University... and beyond

Written at 7.00 pm

Ah. Break again. And not that I have nothing to do, simply, my notebook (er, paper wali) has been borrowed by somebody else for copying down work. Sigh. This professor is toooo punctual, if you know what I mean. Okay, I should be really happy at this...and i am... deeeeeeeep down :P

But. It gets so bad when you walk into the class, only 3 minutes late, and three blackboards are filled with...

This:


:) This stuff is cool waisay. Take the example of this “niraalaa” statement we wrote today. (niralaa = out of this world):

There exists no value of x for which this function is true --- is equivalent to --- for all values of x, this function is false.

And this one :P

Not for all value of x, this function is true --- is equivalent to --- for at least ONE value of x, this function is NOT true

:D:D:D:D

Written at 9.00 pm
My brain is a logical dilemma now. It's 9.00 pm. And my folks are still not here. It's dark and creepy. I JUST saw a frog. When I tried to whip out my cell phone to snap its picture, it hopped away! (frogs really DO hop!!)

Acha khair.., as I said, a logical dilemma. The lecture today wasn't bad. But there are a few things I would like to highlight. If I were a teacher (I know I always say that, pata nahi woh dinn kabb ayy gaa) ---[okay, this is REALLY getting creepy. The hedge behind me is moving...and i can hear a “sarsaraahat” :S..dunno whats that in English)..sigh.

View from the bench where I'm sitting and typing this

Anyway

If I were a teacher, I would surely explain each and every symbol I am using. There are symbols I know I'm supposed to know. But I don't!! And since I am one of the stupidest in class, and every class HAS one.. so I, as a teacher, would always always explain the symbols, before using them. Some look like inverted A, some look like E written backwards, some are lil triangles with lil lines underneath them... the blackboards are filled with it! Tobah.

So the aims of the lecture were completed by 8.15 pm! So sigh, he started the next chapter. Know what that is? :S

Finite State Machines.

He asked the class, “Who hasn't done FSM in undergrad level?” I looked around desperately wishing for any hand to go up. Mine was the only one. Blush.

:D It seems as if somebody was waiting for my hand maybe, because another guy, very softly said “Yes Sir, I also haven't done it.”

So its two people in class. Great.

Ooh sis the priss just messaged. They must be a few minutes away... Gotta run !

PS: I took my netbook out with great hesitation today. Somebody had reminded me, that people who carry around these, and whip it out, and prefer to use it when they can talk to people... are considered arrogant :S:S :$:$:$... It's the general psyche of people... :(

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Written now:


I look back at this day, which kind of ended when I stepped in the house at 10.30 pm :S:S... and I wonder: Will I ever have time for anything else in my life? This is a 2 and a half year deal. It's already sapping up every last ounce of strength... but still. It matters when I come home, and folks talk about something, which I have no idea of.. and when I say "hey, what's that?"... so they say .. "Ohh, you weren't here, so you wouldn't knoww."

It's small. But it matters. So my mind isn't only a logical dilemma right now :)
The reason why I post up all this stuff (which is personal and a lot of "I" and "me" involved), is ... actually.. more than one reasons :)

1. One day I might look back at this, and wonder : Wow... I really did stay out of the house from 10 am to 10 pm !!
2. Hey, I used to have so much stamina ! (this thought might strike, if Allah gives Zindagi and I'm alive at, say, 40)
3. Other people who have a more relaxed lifestyle can see and appreciate their "relaxed states" :D
4. People who have a "lazy" lifestyle can begin to perk up and make their days more productive (how noble and saintly I sound...tsk tsk)
5. People who have a more hectic life style, can..er, slow down. There is more to life than work/academics :P

[learning is everywhere.. one doesn't need a university for it, like-minded, ambitious individuals are needed, that's all]


6. I can look back at this picture below (last lecture's) and remember how happy I was to actually do this stuff :D

Can you catch all the smilies at the end ? :D

Of mini breaks and major fikrs!

Salaam to all

fikr = extreme worry

Written at 7.20 pm today:

So. Get that. I am actually blogging in the 15 minute break Sir has given for Asr prayer. That's how friendless I am. Sigh.

Oh well, that's what comes out of praying earlier I suppose.

So what have we studied so far? Hmm.. Distributed computing models,

They seem pretty interesting and cool, but ...um, they're just boxes and circles .. (boxes representing machines, and circles representing um...oh yeah, processes). :P

So what new things have I learned today? Uh.. wait. It'll come to me.

Yepp. It has. The difference between processes and states. So er, a process is a program in execution. Anddd... a state is .. uh... STATE of a process. All parameters associated with it. Yawn. Yeah.. I think that's about it. Right now, we're on mobile code model. Mobile code as in, code that is portable. I had thought a mobile code means something to do with mobile phones. Sigh. Not to be. And hey, I finally know what a proxy server is! Sir explained in a cool way. He said, just like a proxy is made for absent students... and so much so that sometimes, they're even present and a proxy is made :P:P:P...in the exact same way, a proxy server emulates a real server exactly..!

Kids are coming back. And my lil netbook is getting a lot of stares. :S

So long!


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After class was over:

1. It was 8.45 pm
2. Driver was supposed to come at 8.45 pm
3. My mobile phone was dead
4. Basically, my charger's pin, when inserted in the phone to charge it up at office today, BROKE. And stuck inside.
5. Now i couldn't charge it up. Didn't have the tools to open up the phone, and surgically remove the stupid pin's part stuck inside.
6. I prayed magrib
7. At nearly 9.00 pm, I drove outside.
8. No driver.
10. Parked the car on a petrol pump, got out, and searched for him manually.
11. No driver.
12. Searched for 20 minutes.
13. No driver
14. Got into car.
15. Sped away.

I knew what was going to happen when I reached home. I mean, my driver has a cell phone and my entire family has one... and i knew he would somehow reach univ and start calling up my dad and chotpo, and then they would...........................................

Panic.

I knew it. Our family is famous for extreme fikr !!! So I drove like crazy. Reached home... and er, don't ask what happened, and what were the decibels of the various different yells I received... what were their pitch, and frequency. Don't even ask the amplitude, or the blood pressure all around. All signal attributes were quite measurable. The number of scenarios I heard that could have happened to me.

Or how many times I heard the word "careless" today.

*scowls very deeply*


Image source