Friday, November 27, 2009

Life begins, life ends - and in between? (sigh)


Again, a death in the family today. Not very immediate, but close. It wasn't sudden. D Nana was ninety. I can't even imagine being ninety. He had multiple illnesses since the last few years, and now he had landed in hospital *heaves a big sigh* .. there, he was pretty okay till yesterday morning when he lost consciousness. Unfortunately, his son who came back from UK, found him unconscious. And even more unfortunately, this was his favourite son.

His funeral was today at zuhr prayers. Alhamdulillah everybody was talking about how lucky he turned out to be. I mean, imagine. 9th Zulhijja here, 10th in Saudia. Ayyam-e-Tashreeq, AND a Friday. I guess if I die on a day like this, I would be really lucky.

Masha Allah he was a nice person, pretty thankful for everything he had (despite his various ailments). But the sad part is: He had two sons, and both were abroad. Not that its a crime to leave your parents when they're like really old, but it's just sad a/c to me. And if it comes to me, I'll at least never choose this option. Being away from parents in their old age, when they need us the most. If you think about it, they never left ME when I was completely helpless, needing somebody to even make me burp! (can't imagine those times though - but they MUST have happened) :S

Khair. The cool part is that D Nana's grandson (son's son) was the one whose family lived with him, and they all kept him well-cared for, and they were the ones crying the hardest today. I really hope Allah Gives him an amazing place in the Jannat-ul-Firdous, and rewards abundantly those who went out of their way to take care of him.

Usually at funerals, I'm thinking about how one day I'll be where the dead body is and usually some things along these lines. Today, however, as I saw D Nana's daughters sitting and sobbing near him, and saying stuff like "Pappa, please forgive us for anything wrong we have done, Pappa Allah Hafiz" ... it was heart-rending. I can't imagine what they were going through : losing a Dad. It's unimaginable. It's a reality. But an unimaginable reality. And now come to think of it, what in heavens special time do I (the moron) spend with my own father. Usually it's something on the lines of academics and grades, but now even that has kinda fizzled out. Sometimes he narrates funny stories from his clinic and about his patients etc ... but what else? Nothing. Nothing in common :(

[sometimes I do secretly wish my dad was an engineer too.. it would have been cool]. Khair. I sure hope to improve here. And those of you who easily have long conversations with your dads.. I envy you. Keep it up :)

My last firm determination (Insha Allah) for today is that I really MUST get to know my maternal relatives more. I know it's a complete singaporean rice here.. what with cousins marrying their cousins, and their kids marrying their cousins, and everybody named similarly (We have loads of sulaimans, ismaails, ibrahims, yaqoobs, yousufs, ishaqs ... etc You get the picture :)). I should somehow .. juggle my stupid memory and START remembering their names. It doesn't matter whether they're a LOT, their names are all similar, their language is similar (:'( .. think about it. And I can barely understand Gujerati. Kem cho , and aao jo is the best I can do!), never mind some of them are here, some in Surat, Ahmedabad... doesn't matter! I have to get to know them. They're my community, my family. And btw, the Surti community is basically the friendliest community ever! (not that I saw many, but still). They're simple, unpretentious people. They don't care whether your kid is dressed up in Zubaida's clothing, or you're wearing a CK scarf.

Families rock. This Eid, make sure you visit/talk/etc with family loads and loads.. Immediate, or otherwise. India, or Pakistan (or wherever). Doesn't matter. My next stop: convincing mum to go visit the whole huge clan in India. And she would need somebody to carry the bags right :S:S Hope she agrees.


Anonymous said...

may Allah(SWT) grant him his place in heaven Amen.

Uni said...

JazakAllah for the duaĆ”.