Day II -- :o)

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I don't really know why I'm writing this. Perhaps I feel that the memory of today is going to dafe in the craziness of tomorrow ... ( I meant fade back there -- too tired to delete :P). So I'm going to try and brief the trusted blog about today. (Technically, yesterday :))

Acha. So what happened was that I was so anxious about reaching on time, that I was at the university at 5.15 pm !! (classes start at 6!) -- the reason behind this peculiarity was that I had to come in a rickshaw, and had anticipated that the journey will take more than an hour (since it had taken me and my baboonish driving an hour to drive to university).

But I don't know, the route that rickshaw wala took !! I mean, I did stare at the roads with all my concentration! But he took dunno which shortcuts, and we were there in 45 mins. Um, the fact that I couldn't decide what to hold on more tightly for dear life (my notebook, my bag, pocket Quran, or ..erm ..myself) in the rickshaw -- might have disrupted my concentration a bit :P

SO I was early. The common room hadn't opened. Debating whether to go to the library or not, I was greeted by a friend who had her class too that day, and she took me to the staff centre, and explained that the MS kids are allowed in here..! That was soooooo cool! I mean, I wished I were a staff member..! comfy sofas, huge room.. waiters to serve you!! What more could a faculty member want!

:-)

So class began at exact 6.00 pm. The teacher was a small cute dapper little man, quite quite old, very senior member of the faculty, very intelligent member of the faculty (one couldn't believe how old he was, he was that quick with variables :S)... etc. I had seen him before, but this was my first experience being taught by him. He started well. The only problem I faced was that I couldn't catch his words very properly.. (he has a distinct style of speaking).. so it was kinda hard to make out what he was saying. Staring intently at his face, did help, but then, the note-taking business got hindered.

I actually enjoyed the lesson :):) It was all the stuff I hadn't done in undergrad.. But the way he was teaching it, I nearly understood everything. It was a bit off-putting when one classmate remarked 'Oh we have done nearly all of the syllabus!' -- :S:S:S
But then, it was equally rewarding, when at one point in time, I was the one who explained to them the problem that was being solved on the board.

Now it all sounds very happy dappy :P

But it wasn't.

You see, at the end of the class, some students had stayed back to ask the teacher some stuff. I had lingered back too (because I hadn't understood something as well and had just given up on it cuz it was too saturating after three hours!)... so I listened carefully, trying to resolve my problems with that particular equation...

Teacher turns to me and asks: Are you from another university?
Me: Erm ..no Sir. I'm from here only..
Teacher: So you're from which department?
Me: I'm from Dept L
Him: Oh, so you haven't done LDST II right?
Me: Er, actually Sir, we haven't done LDST 1 as well
Him: You HAVEN'T!!!!!!!!!!?
Me: No sir
Him: So you DONT know K-maps
Me: Just the basics sir, as I said, we haven't done before
Him: Sequential machine design !!!
Me: Which design?
Him: SEQUENTIAL MACHINE
Me: *blinking* ..No Sir..
Him: Finite state machines ...(nearly hyperventiliating)
Me: Er .. no not really Sir
Him: NOTHING?
Me: No Sir, just the basics
Him: So how are you going to do this course!??
Me: I'm going to try my best to cover....... *cut off*
Him: You know.. that's why...THAT's WHY I had made such an objection to an "L" student's admission in this course. I knew that it can't happen. It can't ever happen!
Me: **stunned into silence**
(couldn't say a word -- just stared -- I couldn't believe anybody would say that, right at my face -- the two students who had stayed back were staring avidly)

Him: When you haven't done the basics at undergraduate level, how are you going to expect to do this thing in the course here?
Turning to students -- Him: Did you see that!
Student 1 (who I had rather admired because she had managed to even pick out mistakes in what the teacher had written on the board) : Sir, how is she going to do architecture? Architecture is all based on LDST...
Me: (thinking) : Hello, people. I'm still in the room you know..

Student 1 (to the teacher): I don't know why they granted admission to this student. When they haven't done anything like this ...
Me: *stunned for the second time into silence*
Teacher: I have no idea.. I don't know what were they thinking. (turns to me): You have to take a lot of help. Ask them (points to the two students) what books to refer. You have to revise a lot.
Me: *nodds** .. **all excitement, khushi of the day gone**... Sure Sir.

Class dismissed.

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What I don't want my blog posts to be :) is... rant about my own self. I want it to be a lesson for all those who try to "follow their heart" .. :P

Point is, that I could have easily chosen the parent field (the one in which I did my undergrad from).. but I knew one thing. I would have been miserable. Probability is so NOT my thing.. :). If I had narrowed my field even more, what new things would I have learnt?

At least the verification done today .. of pata nahi kis ka LAW.. was understood and done by pen on paper ... by me ..by myself. Plus explained by me, to two kids in the neighbourhood. What is it, if not a miniscule achievement of the day.

Yes, :D it got extinguished rather badly in the end. But at least... I enjoyed the lecture :)
I don't know many things in it. But I can learn. I can study extra for this thing.

And so can anybody, who wishes to follow their heart. The path isn't easy. That I can promise. People will make snooty comments :P (like the one when this supervisor says at my interview -- pata nahi yeh Ph.D kis main karaingee..(dunno in what field is she going to do her Ph.D) ..)

So .. follow your heart, and within the boundaries of reason, do not lose hope :).. If you enjoy something, very probably you will learn it. Otherwise, even learning becomes tedious ..something that you've GOT to do. And believe me, that's the most unfortunate thing that can happen in scientific education.

So long :)

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