Saturday, February 21, 2009

Bhutto again -- the fun begins!

Sorry for not updating on Stanley Sahib’s book for so long… it was hard to digest these days. A small recap is necessary. Bhutto had completed his studies, become a barrister, come back to Pakistan, and become a member of cabinet as minister of commerce. He also had addressed the UN assembly on some occasions and had won a lot of admiration for his oratory skills.

Now **gleefully** comes the fun bit. I’m sorry in advance for grinning at Pakistani politics :D:D:D But I can’t help it. It’s hilarious. And of course shameful ..**tries to look abashed**…. I mean, the greed, the utter disregard of scruples, the threats and the gangster-pan. It’s er, shameful. Shamefully hilarious.

So the president in late 1950s was Iskander Mirza. On 7th Oct, 1958, President Mirza wrote to the prime minister (Noon sahib) and said:

“After very careful searching of my heart (what a noble heart that was), I have come to the conclusion that the country cannot be sound unless I take full responsibility.” (What a sweet note – purity of heart sooo apparent here). So the 1956 constitution was tossed like a frisbee in the air, and president mirza declared martial law. Ayub Khan sahib became the Chief Martial Law administrator (he secretly liked to think of this as a “revolution”).

Ayub Khan sahib wasn’t able to contain himself with all the power being a chief martial law administrator … administers. I mean, he was the military head. And the president didn’t even have a cabinet since he had said tata to Noon sahib. So what else could he do except take matters in his own hands. Mirza sahib sensed the restlessness in Ayub sahib and knew that he was in trouble. As a last desperate attempt to salvage his power position, he hurriedly (on 27th Oct, 1958 – man! What a month) swore in a new cabinet. It was a 12 man cabinet with Zulfi Bhutto given commerce again. Ayub Khan was offered prime minister ship on a tray. A very shaky, shivery tray :D

Ho! How could Ayub Khan’s ego stand THIS. This was embarrassing. He, having the arms, and the military backing, would be serving UNDER President Mirza? Oh no sir. That couldn’t be tolerated by the likes of Ayub Khan. That very evening, he sent his top three commanders to the president’s house (remember – all this is happening within a month! Oh why, why wasn’t I born then!). Yeah so these three huge burly tough looking men went to Mirza’s place and asked (asked? :P) him to either step down as president, or ….. er, step up. To meet the Maker.

**extremely tickled**

Obviously jaan sub ko piyari hoti hay. So what could Mirza do. Poor man. He agreed at once to step down. And Ayub became president the very next day. This was his second “revolution” in three weeks. He actually retained the cabinet that Mirza sahib (poor soul) had formed. And Bhutto was still Minister of Commerce. Now the funny thing is that Bhutto’s name isn’t even mentioned in Ayub’s book (Friends – comma or no comma- Not Masters) and that book was published after he fired Bhutto from his cabinet. Lol. No wonder Bhutto later said “That book is full of lies, black lies, white lies, all sorts of lies”

Ahhh.. Pakistani politics. What can you say :P .. It’s definitely full of lies, black lies, white lies, all sorts of lies

:D. More later.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Connections are everything?


Wirelessly
Soullessly
Connected
Are we?

Are we really
Close? Bracketed?
Barriers broken by
Mere signals... bits....packets!

What about other signals?
Impulses from the brain
Why aren't they connected
To others', in the cyber game?

Connections indeed ho!
Where is connectivity?
Limited to broadband, EVDO
Aren't we...

A strange online world
Connections thought to be established
Feeling less, meaningless
Hypothetical
Hypocritical
Connections

Copyright Uni Balloony 2009
Image Source

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Some sense, people?

It was an amusing two days. Yesterday, as I was entering The-Bakery-Always-Visited-When-Sis-Goes-Home (her home.. **huge sigh**)... So yeah, when I was entering The Bakery, I saw a young woman coming up to the door at the same time. I stopped, and gave way. She saw me, smiled and said thank you.

Then she whipped her head around and stared at me, mouth hanging open. I stared back, equally gobsmacked.

"Tum!!!!" she exclaimed

"Tum???!?!?!?!?" I nearly yelled back....

This was MaddyP from A Level school !! Two years of constant togetherness, and then lost touch completely. What a huge surprise :D:D.. We yakked for some time. And then she said that she had been engaged for some time and now buying a cake for her fiance. I, the cleverest person on earth said , "Ooh, is it his birthday!?"

And she looked at me as if I've lost it completely and said , "No!! For Valentines' Day!!"... Of course..
:P

Lol. Then she asks me... (ME!) "What should I write, quick tell me something nice to write!!" .. I, in a fluster, said lamely .. "How about "For you"......" .... [For you? How lame is THAT!]

Shukar, I came to my senses, and pointed to a smiling sis the priss, saying "Why don't you ask HER! She's better qualified"... :D and sis the priss solved the matter by suggesting "Just for you" ...

Although......*musing* .. come to think of it. Won't the rest of the family feel a little weird eating that cake when it is soooo explicitly written on it "Just for you" ... :D ..as in, JUST for you :D:D:D

**grinning**

Khair.. Saw a lot of red red pink pink today. Tried not to puke. Guys in pink.. **deeep sigh**
And this thelay wala... he was actually selling pillows/cushions which were deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep red! Velvet....

Uf!

Not to mention the phool walas (flower selling boys/girls) today... A lot of them, and wearing red shirts!

This craze is stupid. I mean, I wonder why people don't see SENSE. There is no sense in spending money on "love" on a specific day of the month! It just doesn't make sense. It's a huge multi million dollar industry abroad (this, and weddings!). And now, it is slowly gaining momentum here as well!.. Why don't we learrn! I have yet to understand. Are we completely crazy? Like the hooligan in the picture :P

Image Source

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

**Grinning from ear to ear**

Okay. If you're in a really really really really really really (okay STOP) bad mood, then this would surely make you... at least.

Grin.

These are the lyrics of a song (minus the chorus oh yeah oh yeah stuff) which I stumbled upon online. Hadn't heard the song, but loved the lyrics :D

It's All About The Pentiums


by Al Yankovic

Chorus

What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

Chorus

Now, what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?

Uh, uh, loggin' in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operating system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
It does all my work without me even askin'
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide
I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total-loser"
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

Chorus

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What maps can't teach me :(


Today when we were going via yet another route to this office of mine, the driver made some interesting comments along with some interesting turns.. which quite turned my brain.

He said , "Iss road pay KABHI mat ana agar koi balochi ko maar day (Don't EVER come via this area if a Balochi is killed)." I was perplexed. Looked around at the road, soaked up the landmarks (btw, I have never been on this road before!) and kept repeating in my brain "Not to come here if a Balochi is killed, not to come here if a Balochi is killed...etc"

Then he said "Do NOT go via X road, if a Pathan is killed. They have full control there. And you don't wanna see a nice display of weaponry. Karachi walay dartay hain, yeh log nahin dartay (Karachites are afraid, these people aren't)"

I tried storing that particular info in my brain as fast as I could. Just when I was repeating this sentence in my brain and hadn't quite finished, he hadn't finished too.

"Don't ever go via Y road, if a Muttahida person is killed. And you don't even WANT to know what happens next"
Oh my God. I clutched my head in dispair. What the hell next!

Thankfully, he didn't point out any more "groups."

We passed by 2 mosques opposite each other. Driver grinned and pointed to one of them and said, "Yeh Ehl-e-Hadith walon kee hay" (This belongs to the Ehl-e-Hadith group) and then he pointed to another one and said "Yeh hari pagar walon kee hay" (This belongs to Hari Pagar group). They were exactly opposite each other. I dared to ask "Does one group pray in the other mosque?" He laughed at my naivete.

*deeeeeep sigh**

Khair. Maps are not really useful in Karachi. You got to have a photographic memory and an amazing sense of alternative-route-planning strategies :( :(

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Back to me :P

I don't know whether this is viewable or not. But if it is, this is a poem which I wrote in the car on the way to a new job. And it illustrates exactly what I was feeling at that time. It's not easy. Entering a new place ... for the first time (how redundant :D). I think I shall copy it down (with some amendments)...

Apprehensive I am
No doubt about that
Not only am I a dunce
But with that

I am directionally
Quite, quite challenged
My sense of direction
Not quite balanced

He is teaching me now
As I am on my way
Have never been so embarrassed
This way

This is supposed to be big
This moment, that is
And all I can do right now
Is cringe.

-Uni
02/06/2009
10.15 am

So. The thing is, that I at least have no prior job experience. Internships do not count. They are not 9 to 5 thingies. Now this is certainly not 9 to 5 (rather 10 to 6 - same thing really :S), it still seems like a huge task. Even the "getting there" part is huge. I mean, the driver has been specially instructed to "coach the imbecile" on the art of shortcuts and basic sense of direction. It is beyond mortifying.

I couldn't believe it when he pointed at a landmark and said "Yeh Baba ka mazaar hay (This is baba's mausoleum)." I mean hello!! I live here! .. I wanted to say a few sharp words, but of course didn't. Not only is he older (and hence I should respect him), but then he said something in his particular accent that made me grin at once and forget all anger. He said "yahan say jo hay nah chayr raaystay jaaytay hain" (From here, four routes are there to your destination).

:D

Anyway, my first and second days at the Office were fine and well. The new people are very much interesting. And they are certainly certainly more able/experienced/confident/sophisticated/assured



Than me.

*sigh*.. It isn't easy to learn this. It's a completely new thing. But I am enjoying it. Know why? Because now I get to research out those things that I only knew the "theory" of, never known the practical applications. Also, I am learning completely new things. By just editing ONE article, (because so much extra research is involved in editing articles -- especially technical ones), I now knew how to er, convert your computer screens into a touchscreen via Nintendo's Wiimote

:D Sounds fab !

I will go now.. try not to think of a third "way" towards the destination .. :S I am actually taking notes.. Imagine. And it's my own city!.. **mortified again**. Dunno how am I ever going to drive there and back. I wish I could get audio books or something on cassettes. The journey would be a boring one. One hour (plusss) behind the wheels.. :) [enough whining?]..

Oh yeah. One last whine left. I am SO stuck in this doc to pdf conversion! **glaring at the screen with barely supressed fury**

Ciao!

PS: Bhutto will probably show his face during the weekend ... IA :S