Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I just don't understand some people around here *frown*..

A conversation:

X: Suggest some baby girl names
Me: Eishal
X: Get real
Me: That's my first choice *stubbornly*.. You asked me!
X: Okay .. any other "suggestions"?
Me: Zoha
X: Okay what ELSE?
Me: Guloona

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **shocked silence** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

X: You're NUTS .. right?
Me: No, I'm serious. It's a lovely name...
X: It sounds like... like... *searching for the right words*...like a "pahari larki" !!! (mountain girl)..
Me: Pakistan main mountains nahin hain? (Aren't there mountains in Pakistan?)
X: Han hain..so?
Me: So pahari larki Pakistani nahin hui kia? (So mountain girl is also a Pakistani right?)
X: silent..
Me: So why are you quiet?
X: I cannot consider GULOONA okay? It sounds like a ...........like a .....
Me: Like a ...what exactly?
X: Like a PAAN!!... (Paan is a betle leaf , popular in Pakistan and India)
Me: A paan, right?
X: Right
Me: Why do you ask me, when you don't wanna consider what I'm suggesting!

End of Conversation

As if this wasn't enough.........! *scowling ferociously now*

My driver had a baby girl. We were driving somewhere, when dad asked him whether he had kept a name yet. He said he hadn't, and asked for suggestions...

Me: Guloona!!!
Driver: KIA??? (What!) ...and started laughing
Me: What's wrong? You should be knowing this.. You're a pathan!!
Driver: Yeah but humain aisa naam nahin rakhna! (We don't want to keep this type of a name)
Me: Why!!
Driver: Humaray bachon kay nam hain Hania, Shayan, Faizan.... No pathan names! (Our childrens' names are Hania, Shayan and Faizan)
Me: Isn't "Guloona" your identity?
Him: Nahin.. humaray bacho kay nam modern hongay (Our kids will be named with modern names)


I hate people who demean their OWN culture..... Ha!


Yesterday morning was amazing.. Not only did I get to see my favorite person on the planet get a GOLD MEDAL, I also got to visit the International Book Fair :D

Books... *sigh*.. Just leave me to roam at Liberty's or Ferozesons or Oxford University Press, or Paramount..or..........well anywhere with huge piles of books...and i'm the happiest person on the planet. I forget all the ghums (exaggerated or otherwise) in my life, and have a splendid time.

Which is what I did..At least till the sun set. Along with my spirits. One interesting thing sis observed about me:

"You know what Uni, you really HAVE become quiet. I'm the one who keeps chattering on and on.. you don't say anything now!"

I could only grin at her. Didn't know what to say..

Later that night, I actually experienced sitting for one hour straight, without speaking a word. Not a word. It was weird.. but you know what?

You get to observe more, when you keep your mouth shut, and only listen... It's a fact. Confirmed by me, one of the most talkative nuts around (was).

Happy New Year

I sure hope this year is a HAPPY new year :(. The way it has started (with an "all out war" from Israel) , and leaving around 350 human beings dead in Palestine, it truly doesn't seem like a HAPPY new year..

Allah Help us!

Friday, December 26, 2008

More on Weddings :)


Wedding season in full swing. One of my good friends got married today :).. And man, this is called a totally perfect Wedding ! The Nikkah was at Asr, men were to gather in this mosque, women at home, and then the Rukhsati was from the home, after maghrib! Imagine.. Isn’t that the coolest!!

No loud music, no fancy hall settings, no “show-shaa” (display of material wealth), and no late nights!

Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

So there it was again, the Nikkah Scene. The bride was sitting in her room, and we were all gathered around her. The nikkah was being held at the mosque , as I mentioned before, and the Imam of that mosque only was reading Khutbah. We were hearing it via the loudspeaker. He gave a small dars, then Khutbah and then the actual Big-Question At-Which-Everybody-Holds-Their-Breath..

[It has been a wish of mine that SOME groom actually says “No” at that time. Nasty thought. But I only mean “AS A JOKE” .. ]

It was a little humorous :) since the groom hesitantly said “Qubool hay” and the Imam said ,

“No.. not like this. Say “Haan, main qubul karta huun” :P and the flustered groom had to say this three times..:P

**wide grin**

May Allah Bless them both with an excellent life here and in Hereafter Ameen.

The dholki was cool too..was held two days back. We went there and there was a nice discussion for ladies held by this amazing scholar :).. .. SOooo many issues were raised, and so many confusions cleared up. The grin-able bit was :

In the Q&A session, one girl asked “What is the role of engagement ceremony in Islam?” Lady answered, “Well, actually nothing. It is just like a booking!”


Funny how amazingly big the Mangni functions here are. Nothing looks different. The same hall, food, finery and stage!.. But actually, it is nothing more than an Irada-To-Get-Married. Nothing else. And certainly, the lady emphasized, certainly “goings out”and “talks” are NOT allowed.

Khair.. this was ONE wedding I was impressed with, and since this is an extremely posh family, I admired them even more. They could have had an extravagant bash. But they chose to remain simple, and gain more Barkah from the Lord. It was an ideal wedding.

May Allah Bless them indeed. Ameen!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Of weddings, and depressing thoughts

Exhaustion. Total and pure exhaustion. Slept late and got up late... Something I have to get rid off and set a good routine for myself.. .................Someday.

Yeah, so another wedding yesterday. But :) It wasn't JUST another wedding. It was one of my best friend's wedding. And you know what the good thing is ?

She lived one lane away before. Now she lives one road and two lanes away :D How cool is that!

But I usually do get sad at friends' weddings, mainly because they just, (even if they're two lanes away)...move away. They get lost. Nothing remains the same anymore. Its lovely that they have a new life, and lovely that they have new things to look forward to, and lovely that have kids and a nice family to look after .... But it's still sad. Because the care-free-ness just disappears. Every one of my friend is now a total dadi-maan... Naseehatain naseehatain naseehatain (advice, advice, advice)

*sigh*.. Hope Andy doesn't become a saintly grandma. Somehow :D the role doesn't suit her.

Every note of the music yesterday carried with it a sound of parting, of farewells, goodbyes. I had fun in the little Dressing Room :P Where I could just see her as Andy My Friend Who's Just a Little More Dressed Up ...! But when she moved out into the lawn... she became Andy the Bride....*Sigh*

When the bride was moving to the stage surrounded by cousins and some friends, I was standing aside, watching quietly.

"Andy's best friend... not joining the procession?" Someone remarked smiling. I looked around, and saw her dad, standing with that same quiet look. I grinned at him and said

"Actually.. Im better off here :S" He smiled too..

"Hey Uncle.. Aap ko udaasi haay aaj ?? (Are you sad today? ....What a tactful question wouldn't you say *scowling at herself*)

He glanced down at me. Had a strangely intense look on his face, and said " BOHOTTTTTTTT.....!!"

I sighed.. The way he said it.. man!

Khair.. the function went ahead. One thing I don't understand about Nikkahs. Why do they cry? The brides I mean? Is it that they feel emotional about it? But why ? Aren't they to cry on Rukhsati..Hello! That's when you LEAVE...!!

Weird. I couldn't bear seeing tears in her eyes..! She is the most happy-go-lucky-merry person around ... :S Weird beyond weird. I remember asking a friend once, "Why do they cry at Nikkah time?".... And she answered, "Basically, that's because, ....

UB aap gayyy (now you're done for!).".

I gaped at her for a second.. and then said "Done for!!! ??? Like you mean, there ain't no turning back? Thats why?"

She nodded sagely.

ooookkkkkaaayyyyy.... Don't buy that. But oookkkaaayy :P

Khair.... I don't feel like doing anything.. I have SO much to do , so much to read, and too many gifts to make :S .. but *sigh*I just seem to want to sit back, and watch some movie... or sleep. That's all.

Hope India doesn't attack us :S:S:S

Not because they are Great Mighty Ones Militarily (oh no they're not), but because I don't trust OUR leaders to have enough spine to even let us know in the first place that an attack has been carried out (remembering the airspace violation), and I don't trust them to fight back with the same vigour.

I wish he had even "10%" of the integrity, patriotism and honor that our general public has :(

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Image Source

Some time back, I was actually quite relieved to think that hey, I wasn't around in 1947, didn't see the gory scenes described by the elderly today. I was also a happy person not to be alive in 1965, AND 1971.

Yesterday, my protective bubble burst.

Nerve testing? Yepp.. My nerves are jangled. More so by Ma'am Sherry who seems to defend the violation of Pakistani airspace as a mistake which anybody in the world can make, at so crucial a time. It's funny how we can even digest that piece of ludicrous analysis.

It's also funny how our minds soooo quickly jump to cannon fire, blaring jets, blasting bombs, and piles of bodies. Maybe we have watched too many movies, or read too many books. Who knows.

What we do know that if something like this ever happens.......THEN

There is no sindhi, punjabi, balochi, pathan etc ... we're ALL PAKISTANIS.

And we're going to stick together. God Help us.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

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The drive back was a blur.

I love the cold air. It has the amazing ability to dry one's eyes in a matter of milliseconds.

I can't believe I was seeing her for the last time. Webcams don't count. I couldn't believe there would be no more Schottkey, who would be driving in that rickety old car, picking and dropping her peeps, waving enthusiastically, yelling in that VOICE of hers...

The drive back was a blur.

I can hardly imagine days when I wouldn't walk around chatting endlessly with her, about all the topics under the sun we have discussed.. her constantly saying "Niiiiiceeeee" in that tone of hers. It was terribly hard to smile, and look happy. It hit me with full impact, as I stood up to say goodbye. The final farewell. I will be 8326 miles away from her. That's 13,400 km.... That much..yes!

This year has been full of these moments. First, it was July the 5th. Now, it's December the 12th.. A year of farewells, and the loneliness associated with it.

The drive back was a blur..... *sniffles*

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Sacrifice



My bakra was sacrificed today.

This statement of mine deserves one big : DUH.

I mean, yeah of course it was sacrificed on Eid day !:( .. I felt truly sad. It was a pretty interesting animal y'know. The WAY he fought, and tried to hit me with his seeng (what's that in english..? Horns?)... the way it looked soooo stubbornly at me, and nibbled at the grass (dry one) soo choosingly, and gobbled up the grass (wet one) sooo greedily, and ate the feed (chanay kay chilkay etc) out of my hand! *sigh*....

I sure miss it..

Although i know this is nothing compared to the sacrifice which was ordained upon Hazrat Ibrahim to make, and how he easily did it.... I mean, at the time of actually sacrificing his son, he had no knowledge that Allah is going to swap his son with an animal from the heavens.

Those were the people. Wish I could have a fraction of what they were capable of.. in terms of faith, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, kindness.. the list goes on and on..

Even now I am wallowing in self pity.. Apparently, even after understanding so much about how "matlabi" dunya is, I still manage to end up hurt. I should make a poster or something saying "People only care about themselves -- Even if they are your friends -- Lectures Matter only!" and hang it up in my room. So that I can see it everyday and EXPECT people to talk to me only for their own gains.. own results... own stakes.

**another sigh**

PS: The last picture is of the bakra belonging to people upstairs..He was too innocent looking.. and had a bad cold poor thing..

Monday, December 8, 2008

Bakray (Goats).. And janwar

Now there is a reason why on every Eid ul Adha, I classify the animals into two, goats and "janwar" ..
Goats are a different class of eid animals .. :S they are SO expressive..! I find in them much innocence, mischief, loneliness (when they are separated from their rewar [flock]) and also deep resentment and anger.

*sigh* .. The goat which we finally got today ... It is something to be SEEN..(I will upload some pictures in the next post which will prove that this goat should be seen...)

Anyway, yesterday was my traditional visit to Mamu's... where the entire neighbourhood, the grounds they have, are FILLED to the BRIM with goats and janwar! It was amazing.. I could wander as i liked, pet as many goats, see how many teeth they have, tentatively pat cows and bayl (what's bayl in english?).. on their cute noses..:P shrink away when they jumped around or were termed by the gushing children as "khuraant" :)

It was fun!

Friday, December 5, 2008


She's back.

There is an intense excitement in waiting for somebody to arrive at the airport. Happiness it is, yes, but also excitement. And yearning.. for the lonely times to be over. And the dreary hours be filled with the tales of a foreign journey.

It didn't disappoint me !.. I was so busy looking for her, that when she came, all I could see was her face, whereas dad who was standing besides me exclaimed "She has no luggage!!"

THEN, I looked down, and saw that indeed, she was pulling only a carry-on, and a long face as well.. Apparently, the bags didn't get on the plane in Heathrow. With four stopovers, something had to go awry... And so she was called three days later for her luggage...

All that aside, ..she's BACK! A little conversation I had with her in the previous 24 hours:

Me: Hey! Did you know! A BE can easily apply for a Ph.D in UK!!

She: Beta... UK do-numbry system hay.. Jana hay to USA jao.. wahan ka Masters kuch value rakhta hay...

Me: (scowling).. Laikin top universities hain!! Top in the world I mean.. aeween to nahin hain nah !

She: Daikho.. meri dostain dono gayeen theen.. Masters kay baad Ph.D USA say kia to pata chala higher studies aakhir HOTI kia haain! .. daikho meray bags bhee HEATHROW main reh gayy nah!

Me: (grinning like anything): Bags ka education say kia talluq!!

She: Beta woh aisay hee hotay hain.. system bhee aisa hee hay

Me: (sighing): Let's drop it theek hay!



Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Something I wanted to connect with the post below.

Right now, my city is aflame. Aflame with yes, fire...homes are being set on fire, shops and thelay (carts for fruits etc)...Aflame with personal grievances... Aflame with hatred, and extreme prejudice.

And not to mention... Aflame with GOSSIP. Go to any street in Khi right now, and where three or more people are standing.. if you listen to them, you will hear a tale of such bizarre proportions that your mind will reel.

And God Forbid, if you go to some other part of the city and see some other people standing together and if you happen to listen to them too, then you will hear ANOTHER story, more gruesome than the most horrible horror films we see today.

People.. What's wrong with you..? Or rather, what's wrong with us?? Have we forgotten that we are Muslims? Or that a muslim is one from whose HANDS and TONGUES others should be safe ??

Hands... and tongues .. (I repeat for emphasis)... Why does our waggling tongue not realize that we are possibly passing on a rumor... and that may have deathly results ?

Why does our ethnic-divide infested brain not THINK that what we are doing is totally against what a Muslim SHOULD do..? (not even COULD... SHOULD). Are we so divided that we can't even see that this entire fiasco/drama has been started only recently... and that nothing can be gained out of furthering it, except more deaths, more casualties, more bullets, more gruesome stories..

And less unity..

Aren't we already threatened ENOUGH?? Instead of uniting at this crucial time...

God.. and we say we have brains.. ! Ha!

Now... why did I want to connect to the post below? .. Basically, all of us are listening to the lower self right now.. our indignation over our troubles are leading us to EASILY believe ANY rumor we hear, pass it on adding some Shan Kara(c)hi Gosht Masala on it, and then discussing it with our families, as if it were the ultimate fact of life !

Our lower self is leading us to believe that a certain group of people (be it any group) .. is responsible for all the carnage, and if that group could be rightly pummeled, then we will all live happily ever after. So we happily spread stories, vow vengeance.. and consequently..

Sit at homes. For two days straight. Two working days straight.


Why is the harder way out .. so HARD to realize ?

Can't we all at least keep our mouths shut ? At least try to put our prejudices at bay, for the sake of the country? For the sake of us, Muslims??

Think.. One should have the motto given below *sad smile*.. for each and every person of Pakistan.. one should have the following jazba: -

The War Within

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I was reading this really nice article in The Intellect Magazine, which referred to the internal conflict within our own selves. The battle between our Higher Self, the one which constantly reminds us of our duties, responsibilities, basically the little voice inside our heads which nags when we do something wrong, and our Lower Self, which is the one constantly demanding things from us, our wants, desires... always beckoning us towards the "convenient option."

Now, the article I was reading gave a methodology of selecting a particular course of action, based on the battle between the two selves within us. It said, that if you are ever in a situation, which gives you two choices. Either go a certain way, or not....ALWAYS choose the one that your Self finds the MOST cumbersome, the "harder way out"..

That particular course of action has the highest probability of being right for your Deen. There is a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) which says:

"Paradise is ringed with inconveniences; and HellFire is ringed with desirable things" (Muslim)

So ... *deep sigh*... whenever I find myself wondering whether to control my anger, and supress my indignation at somebody OR, let it all out on a talk/blog (which would be nothing BUT backbiting (gheebat)) ... I should KNOW which is the right course of action..

The harder thing to do. Indeed.

It's funny.. but come to think of it, each and every choice we make .. has an alternative, which can be both easier, or harder. And usually, we choose the easier way out.. Like:

(taking my example only):
  • In the sweltering heat of afternoon, do I choose to lie indoors and read a book, OR.. go outside, spend some of my precious eidi, buy some essentials , and deliver it to the katchi abadi not THAT far away from my house..??? (gloomily)

  • When Im hurrying to pray, and its isha time, so no big deal if I pray a little later, and by chance I see that Baby's Day Out (or Mr Bean.. or ..er, anything) is coming on TV... do I stop to see it, or hurry for prayers anyway? (more gloomily)

  • Yesterday, I could have avoided a comedy video ...and done something more constructive.. but did I avoid that OR I went around the house the entire evening with a silly smile on my face, remembering the video? (even more gloomily)

So er, I need to practise before preaching yeah I know..! But I wanted to convey the simple point, that usually ...Usually.. the harder way out is also the right way out..

Hope I made sense.