Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Image Source

My heart burns. Burns in sympathy for the people who were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. For the people who weren't able to get out of the wrong place at the right time.

For those who screamed and shouted for help, for those who stepped on shards of glass and got their feet bloody, then stepped on live wires, and perished.

For those who were eating after the long day, refreshing themselves, not knowing that this is short lived.

For the guards who stepped towards the burning truck, trying to put out its flames (after the short blast), and then were blown up like rags when the great blast occurred.

For the drivers who sat in the cars, waiting for their sahibs and sahibas to come out of the hotel, not aware of the fact that this is the last time they would be sitting behind the wheels, and then, there would be no wheels....only a skeleton of the car they sat in..

My heart burns in anger for those who got the truck through without scanning it, in the first place, who allowed the US Marines to carry those steel boxes (nobody knows what was inside them) to the fourth and fifth floors of the hotel.

For those who saw this happening and never turned a hair.

For those who made empty speeches, which amounted to literally NOTHING. And then calmly flew off to a foreign land to meet a leader who regularly orders attacks inside our country.

For those who are STILL thinking that this act was master minded in seminaries, plotted in mosques, and carried out by MUSLIMS. I am livid at this particular mentality which gives Islam a bad name, and point fingers towards "all the roads that lead to FATA" without an iota of proof.

My heart is burning. And there is no respite....

Saturday, September 20, 2008


Assalamualaikum :D

So like, I am SO sick of studying, that I have resorted to ONE thing that DOES interest me during roza.


Erm, I know I should know how to cook basic stuff, and THEN move on to exotic stuff, but the sad fact is that exotic stuff is ......................just that. More exotic. More exciting. More appealing!

The Big Cookbook we have called "Indian Delights" have been a source of great perusing in the past..It has such amazing looking pictures that one can dream about these dishes for ages. Unfortunately, they have a habit of , er, not really turning out to be as they LOOK in those nice photos.

At least on my attempts.

Deciding to give the cookbook a break, I started on the internet. One recipe after the other. As Chotpo says “Among thousands of recipes, all you managed to find is some weirdo sweet dish called……………………………..PENDAY”

Yepp. Penday it was.

I must admit, it was the NAME of this dish that attracted me. I mean, whoever heard of something edible called..PENDAY. Chotpo was actually relating penday with pendu ..... *grin*

Hee Hee…. Happily, I set to work. All the ingredients were bought, in the scorching heat of 2.00 pm yesterday. Today, I began working.

All was well…until the time came to mix the mixture for 8 minutes, “till the paste thickens”

I began turning the spoon round and round, my arm went around, my face shiny with perspiration and lo and behold.. Mum entered the kitchen.

She pointed out , firstly, the folly of making something that requires “experience and skill”, both of which are my tremendous LACKINGS.

Then she pointed out, just by looking at the stubbornly thin watery mixture, that I have put too much oil.. and so this mixture is never going to thicken. I meekly admitted that the recipe said one tablespoon oil, but the cheese looked kind of hard, so to make it softer, I added more oil..

She pointed calmly to the condensed milk, and said, weren’t you supposed to add this AFTER the oil? I was like, yes. She asked “Isn’t this a liquid? Wouldn’t it soften up the mixture already!!!”
Er, busted!

I did my best to look defiant and said, “This will harden soon! You’ll see” .. She left.

Now I began stirring, stirring, stirring. My arm ached badly. The kitchen grew hotter…and hotter.

8 minutes ? Ha ! 18 minutes went by merrily, as I stirred and stirred and stirred…I think I even said a few Surahs and blew on the mixture, willing it to harden!

Pretty soon, I was about to give up… when I saw, that this ziddi dish had actually begun to look a bit thick. Hey presto…my stirring took a new boost, and I re doubled my efforts.. :D

So the result was, that the mixture DID thicken… I WAS able to mould it into balls, garnish it with pistachio and wave it triumphantly around.

My dad was the first one to ask for it. I gave him a piece anxiously watching his face. He chewed. Everybody was staring at him…………


“It’s amazing!” were his words ………

*broad grin*


Monday, September 15, 2008

And it dawned on me...


I have been reading Surah Al-Kahf for a long time now. Since I learnt that in Ahadith, there is great Fazilat mentioned for reading this particular Surah on Jummah Day, and learning it to protect oneself from the Fitnah of Dajjal, I began reciting it every Friday.

That was a long time ago. Alhamdulillah, the day has come, when I was able to recite this Surah alongside the Imam (we did 15th Juz today in Tarawih Masha Allah).. :) That was wonderful..! I couldn't believe 20 Rakahs were over so amazingly quickly!

Khair, so what dawned on me today?

I saw this presentation, a very very nice presentation, which shows exactly HOW Surah Al-Kahf is important for prevention from the Fitnah of Dajjal. I never knew that! I mean, I know the translation and everything. I just never THOUGHT to link all the stories in this Surah and formulate how it forms the basis of some really fundamental truths we have never bothered to notice. (at least I haven't)

The link to downloading the presentation is here

But before reading the presentation, please go through the Surah once and read its translation.. :) It is very very interesting.

You can do so here.

Now the presentation should make a lot of sense :) It now makes so much sense to me WHY it has been ordained to recite this Surah every Friday ... and what important lessons it contains :)

The picture above shows the Cave of the Seven Sleepers in Jordan. The source is this!

:) Happy reading!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Hee Hee


So things couldn't get any funnier I tell you. Last night, the voltage fluctuations became worse than ever. Now, whenever the voltage became waaaaayyyy less than 220 V (woh bhe I think normally 200 ata hay), the UPS would let out a weird grunting, grating noise. And Dad would run to it, and stare down anxiously at it, till it stopped complaining and voltage needle came back to normal.

This happened quite a few times.

At the end of it, Dad became quite certain that our UPS will crash, and we would be light-less at Sehri time. With the noble intention of making things right, he set to work. He extracted his computer's stabilizer and connected it to the UPS. In this procedure, our fans and lights (those connected to UPS), switched on and off several times.

I was resisting the urge to curse out loud. It was so hot! And I was trying to sleep.. it was 1.30 am ! :D

Now, after tinkering and tankering for about an hour, the fans came safely back on..and I wearily looked at the clock.. It was 2.30 am. I had to get up at 4.30 to help make Sehri .. *deep sigh*


Now, at 5.10 am , with great difficulty, I got up, when Chotpo threatened to make me fast without Sehri. Turns out she did the whole work herself, and was calling me only to eat. Guiltily, I crept to the dining table.

All went well, till the electricity went off. The whole room was awash with darkness, and we stared around in shock. What had happened? Why hadn't the UPS switched on?

Mumbling that he knew EXACTLY what the problem was, Dad hurried to the UPS, and began tinkering once again. Five minutes later, he managed to get the lights back on. Sighing with relief, we started clearing the table.

The next minute, the electricity came back on. And lo and behold. The whole room was again plunged into darkness. I was trying my best not to grin. Thank God it was dark. The torch which had been located with great difficulty was fumbled for again, and found in 2 minutes. Everybody was in a flurry and so NOT in a good mood.

Then Dad hurried to the UPS again, and went to work. We waited, not at all happy of course :D .. Grumbling whining and scowling.

Five minutes later, the lights came back on..

Er. Only to go again in five minutes, again throwing us in darkness and poor Dad rushing to the UPS, trying vainly to just get it back to the grunting , grating self.

Ho.. Nothing..

As mum wisely says "Too much WANT can make what you HAVE disintegrate into NOTHING" ...

Hee hee.

Friday, September 12, 2008


A feeling of anxiety grips me
I grin
Idiotic, I know
But then..

In a crisis like this
When one is helpless
I only laugh
I confess

Exams loom close
I shudder
Not at all far off

The entire year gone
Poof...done for!
What was I doing?
I wonder

Man I'm in trouble
Can't study even now
I need to get started..
But .. er, HOW?

Weird thoughts surround me
Flitting in and out
I don't have any motivation
And THAT's what its all about!

PS: The title of this poem was actually figured out after the last line was written ... :S Weird eh.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Titles -- Or truth?


Now whenever I'm feeling down, THIS entry SHOULD cheer me up :D. This was my Undergraduate Title ! Now I know this is a bit, er, too much.. i mean..the NICEST classmate?
But the girl who suggested it is a very kind hearted lady... so I will forgive her heap of flattery and think good about this :)
Even though...... I still believe people are misguided by virtual illusions.. :)
Having said that.. this STILL cheers me up.. although I know I don't deserve this.. even 1%.
I got really amazing autographs :D From both students and teachers. The one which cheers me up the MOST was from a guy in class who wrote :
"The girl with the most decent and reserved personality" ... Man ! I cherish this one.. Know why? Cuz now, four years of hard work paid off :D Four years of staying strict, not being "free" ... not doing "halla gullah" ...ONLY talking when necessary or group discussions etc... It was hard work ..
Am glad it was noticed :) .. meaning, the message was sent ! Alhamdulillah !

Monday, September 8, 2008

Of Nobility AND Acute Embarassment

Salaam! I have somehow found this little niche of time squeezed between washing dishes after iftari and getting ready for taraweeh so I'm going to be typing real fast and will just press submit (Insha Allah) :) Khair.. The day ! Now, the story begins with the background that yesterday we had had a dars for men in which we had served Iftar Boxes from Ahbab Sweets (nice stuff -- but spicy so we couldn't really enjoy it).. We had estimated 60 people, but only 40 turned up. Even after giving some boxes to the guards (of our gallies) , there were manyy left over.

Now.. we have a small freezer.

It was a terrible task for my poor Chotpo to stuff so many things into plastic bags and somehow, shove it in the freezer with the fervent hopes of giving it away.

What was I doing at that time? I have no idea..Oh yeah! I was trying not to make faces at my sis the priss and TB , who both are sick!


Yeah.. so back to the story..

Today I got up late. It was 9.00 am. I had to leave by 9.15. And there was so little himmat in me that I meekly requested mum to let me off the sweeping-house duty. I promised that I would do it as soon as I returned home from university.

That done, mum (tired out poor thing—doesn’t sleep after sehri) went to sleep. Now I knew, Rehmat was supposed to come (our domestic help for two days). She usually just comes Sundays and Wednesdays, but today, she had been called especially for the drawing room cleaning.

Yeah… so mum went to sleep. I waited a few minutes..and Rehmat came. Now… (this is the noble part), I never woke up mum, hung around Rehmat, till she finished cleaning the drawing room on my all grown-up instructions (even SHE treats me like a kid here), and then left for university.. late.

Stuck a note to mum’s door .. that Rehmat came, worked and THEN I left for univ.


Now forget this for a while.

I went to university, and this little incident makes me CRINGE with embarrassment now…

Yeah..so I had to find Sam for something. She had told me that “I’ll be in the WLL Lab!” I believed her so completely, that when I came back from whatever I had gone for, I peeked into the WLL Lab, and found Ms U (a teacher) talking to a lady.

Thinking this lady (whose glasses I could nearly see – and Sam wears glasses too *defensively*), I marched up to the lady, and poked her in the back.

She jumped violently and turned around.

It was my third year CE Teacher !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gawked at her for a full minute and she gawked back.. ! Then, I did the most logical thing possible. Fled .. ran for my life. But unfortunately, she found her tongue when I reached the door..

“Yeh KIA horaha hay!!!” She exclaimed. (She was very astonished that this harket had been done by somebody like, er , me..I’m not considered very , er, tafreeh you know).

“Uh… I thought you were someone else” I mumbled with a full red face and then turned and ran outside the lab.

I wanted to smack Sam who was in the next lab… I nearly did…but khair.. Ramadan hay!

*deep sigh*

Acha bhui, this thing done, the day went stupidly. I wasn’t able to study anything (we are having our study leaves right now). And my entire khwari was also due to fighting with photocopy walay.. from whom I had to photocopy three of my own lectures for three of my teachers for the final paper.. :(

Life sucks. !

Allah Allah karkeh, when I finally came back home at 4.00 pm, Mum was grimly waiting for me. The conversation went as follows:

Her: WHAT were you thinking?!
Me: Huh?

Her: What were you thinking, NOT waking me up when Rehmat came!

Me: Er, Mum, I was doing you a fav………….

Her: Do you even know how many times I woke up to check whether she had come or not? Do you even realize that I never knew she had come, and when I had done whole sweeping, I found this little note on the ground that Rehmat HAD come!
Me: But you had just called her for the drawing room!

Her: YES. But since you neglected your work, you could have told her to do that, instead of just the drawing room!

Me: But I was getting late !!


Me: *deep sigh* and now listening only…

Huge daant! Apparently, the Iftar boxes stuff in the freezer was supposed to be given to her, and pata nahin kia kia kia ..:(

Nobility kaa yeh result mila …

Sucks! :(

Sunday, September 7, 2008

There is so much to write about......:(

And so less himmat. And I know, that if this time will pass, then newer things will happen and today's happenings will lose their importance ... in the blogging arena.

Khair.. One of the worst things that could have happened to Pakistan..............................happened.
Yepp... Zardari became President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. If only Quaid could see what his country's top leadership has become... he would have surely preferred to die rather than see this state of our nation today.

(Btw, for all those who still think Musharraf shouldn't have resigned, hello! One shaitan, bigger shaitan -- what's the difference. There is no LESSER of the two evils.. If it is evil.. then it IS bad.. End of story)

Anyway, so a pretty black day today. Ironically, our Defence Day. I found myself humming "amart-e-pak kee , hawai fauj kay, uqaab haaaiiinnnnn, uqaaab haaiiinnnnn."

My voice trailed off as I remembered the "uqaabs" and what are they doing in Swat. And while doing so, what exactly is happening in our northern areas. Headlines like these: -

1. US Ground Forces Raid Pakistan Outposts

2. Suspected US Strike Kills 5 in Pakistan

In June, the ones who struck us (our such amazing friends) replied with this glib explanation:

"Air Strike in Pakistan 'Legitimate, Self-Defense,' Pentagon Official Says" when we protested (ho to these feeble meaows) --> "Pakistan Condemns US Air Strike That Killed 11 Troops"(Washington Post) and our meows faded as the following happened:

US offers Pakistan government $7bn in non-military aid to fight terrorism
Civilian cabinet told drone air strikes will be curbed (Julian Borger in Islamabad The Guardian, Thursday April 17 2008)

So basically, my point was... What uqaab huh?

Our Kashmiri Muslims were once again on a complete strike today. The situation there is pathetic. Maana keh they don't want anything to do with Pakistan. But isn't it our moral duty to help us in these troubled time? Shouldn't our fauj be attentive THERE? Rather than concentrating on destroying it's own territory?

Man..........what are we DOING!

It's a black day.. a most terrible day. I have great foreboding today.. I fear for my country men and women, and for our poor, and the downtrodden. It is because of our stupid amaalz that we have been "blessed" with such rulers.

(Jaisi qaum waisay hukumraan) :(

I don't GET it waisay.. PPP aside, what's wrong with the Muhajirs? (waisay I don't expect anything good out of them -- they seem to have forgotten that the very basis of their taking up arms was suppoosed to be a disasterous PPP govt back when they really got beaten up by the state).

What's wrong with our Pathans? What's wrong with our Maulanas (even if Diesel)? Has the world gone mad? Have they gone crazy?!!

NWFP Assembly, the man gets a majority! (This is one news that really shocked me).. I mean.. somehow, I thought those were men of some SENSE...

Waisay ... *bitterly*.. what can you expect from the likes of Asfandar Sahib.... whose grandaddy didn't even prefer having his dead BODY being flown over the Pakistani soil, so he could be buried in his homeland..

Ho.. maybe the particles of Pakistan might have corrupted his soul..! Why would his sucessors want anything good for this country !

How can they support a crook? A thief? A thief with big teeth? Who managed to sneak into this position by knocking aside all the accountability charges in wait for him, and managed to go back on his words too (about the judiciary restoration)..

How can they vote for him? Was the lure of money and position too much for them????? Maulanas too! So called named as a religious Aalim!

How EASILY men can be sold.. how easily, their faiths can be traded for money... their principles trashed with greed. Their integrity shredded with the blades of power...

I loath them all.....

Friday, September 5, 2008

*Thinking and Wondering mode*

The Taraweeh was PERFECT today!

Know why? Know why ? [quoting Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie :)]

I took the pocket Quran with me which has translation in it !!


Was it fun (fun because 20 Rakahs passed in a jiffy) or what ! I mean .. *somberly*, the Ayahs were quite scary you know. We started Surah Nisa, and there is this bit on those people who reject the Ayahs of Allah, how they will burn in Hell, and what will happen when their skins are burnt off : It will be replaced by a new one

*deep shudder*

May Allah Keep us safe from this torture.. and make us real true believers Ameen..

I was thinking about Dr. Afia today .. :(.. I was just kinda trying to imagine.. something. See, I'm a Muslim woman.. I wear a Hijab.. I have huge aims of studying Engineering in good foreign universities.

Enough for me to also get arrested on bogus counts (none have been proven btw)..

Imagine if I had been in her place.... with a family, kids. And one fine day, abducted by monsters, kept God Knows where..and tortured to no ends. Kids gone too.

Five years tak........ With nobody to help me out. For five years.

I seriously seriously can't imagine this kind of a torture.. this kind of aazmaish (trial). Think. Just think how her days and nights must have passed by.... Dunno whether she kept count of the years... YEARS...not days.. YEARS. Not even a private restroom facility? Men's jail. Lone woman in a men's jail. Aur woh men... jin ka koi deen imaan nahin?

*lost in thought*.. Random thoughts.

You know.. I would like to apologize.. (for those who think I've finally lost it -- please read on)..

I would like to apologize to her, her sister, her brother, her mum and her kids... for SLEEPING these past five years. I was old enough to be aware. Yet, I remained ignorant. I apologize for going to Pizza Hut and doing halla gulla, when she must have gone hungry... I apologize for not DOING something about her plight.. not even reading the meagre stories that were published in newspapers, when I was reading other stories etc. For not caring what went on with a woman of my Ummah, my sister.. whose HAQQ was that I personally make an effort to at least make people aware of her plight. For still not being able to do any concrete thing about her... even now.

Except write a feeble random disjointed blog post.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Big R


This post was supposed to be written yesterday, but somehow, that didn't happen :).. Anyway..

So ! Today (Monday, not Tuesday) was the day...when I finally printed out my Project Report, and gave it for binding. R Bhai (a big R, popular throughout univ) assured me that yes, indeed, he would have it ready, along with two photocopies by Wednesday, when we would collect it Insha Allah.

The day was LONG. Extra extra long. I had planned to complete this thing and give it for printing by Monday because it was Chand Raat that day .. and it was expected that Ramadan would start ..today (Another R). :)

So we reached university and started working like crazy. Bibliography and index was left.. The formatting of bibliography sucks BIG time i tell you.. *scowl*... and would you belive it ! The previous years report i saw, they had "References" and below this nice heading, they had bullet styled URLS..ONLY.. That's it. No proper format or anything..

Position holders...

*shakes her head wryly*

Khair.. At 3.30 pm, we finally submitted the Report (R again), and sauntered off, immersed in our happy thoughts.. A nice lunch at Largess was due :D ....and that was fun as well.

Reached home by 6.00 pm...

All too soon, the time for Isha prayers arrived. Now as usual, we were late :) .. and hence a mad rush to catch the 9.30 Jamat.. Thankfully, we were on time :D..Iqamat was going on..

Now in the "mad rush" I had forgotten to take my pocket Quran. This was a big blow... And I'll tell you why.

The Taraweeh began. I knew some of the beginning Surah.. (Surah Baqarah) but all too soon, I began to lose the Imam's recitation. He was a bit fast too..and by the time I could figure out the meaning of one Arabic word (which would lead me to guess the meaning of the Ayah in question), the Imam had moved through the next 4 Ayahs...! :(

Bad.. veryyy bad. I really need to learn Arabic. I tried to take a course, but I got lost in the "seghay" and grammar rules. :( I really really wish I knew this language..Imagine. Somebody reading the Holy Quran, and you understanding it as completely as you are reading this post and understanding it right now (and Im rapidly typing it)..

*deep sigh*..

After ten Rakahs, I was in a state of disbelief that only half of Taraweeh is done ...(sheesh, Im badder than I thought -- And i dont care if there is no such thing as BADDER).

Waisay, I felt worse because I was standing next to Mum..

Now let me tell you a bit about my Mum and Taraweehs.

She was reciting ALONG with the Imam (She isn't a Hafiza btw, she just KNOWS a majority of the parts of the Holy Book).... And she knows PERFECTLY what it all means ! Man.. Why dont I learn from these people?

Yeah.. and when the Imam forgets to inform people that "Pehli Rakat main Sajdah hay", Mum goes into Sajdah and everybody follows her..

Today when I thankfully did not forget my pocket Quran, she quickly recited the Ayah, at which the Imam had stopped yesterday .. :( I stared at her, till she clarified "Sayaqool kaa 5th Ruku"... *sigh*....I TRULY wish I was even 10% of what my mum is..

Khair.. like last year, I have made out my resolutions :).. One of which I broke yesterday.. LOOK. Basically I can't HELP laughing , when a lady goes into Rukuh, at Witr's third rakah, when Imam says "Allah hu Akbar" and we have to recite "Dua-e-Qunoot".. :D..

*blush*... she kept IN the Rukuh, throughout the Dua-e-Qunoot! Imagine !! ...

I tried my best not to smile..I failed.

Later, when I mentioned this to Chotpo, she said sternly ,

"Hum to itna doosron pay nazar rakhtay hain keh agar galti say rukuh main chalay bhee jaain to idher udher daikh kar jaldi say dobara kharay hojatay hain... this lady was concentrating so much in her prayer, that she never saw the others"

Er.... I stopped grinning at that.

I should stop this rambling now.. I have to get up help make Sehri ...

Gone are the days when people used to yell at me to wake up to EAT ...JUST EAT...and then pray etc.. Same for Iftari... :( I miss Siss the Priss.....

Ramadan seems weird without her.. to yell at me to "get up!!!!"

Allah Hafiz....*sadly*